If I Fell

Dinner

"So, what would you like for dinner. Room Service or we could order in from somewhere?" Paul played host as I stood on the balcony coming to terms with the day's events.

"Maybe I should go" I walked back off the balcony, Paul being Paul was smiling happily. His body language showing his happy feelings and mine only seemed to be showing my worry "I could come back tomorrow. Stella might want to talk to you about all this"

I was struggling to understand how the girls seemed so nonchalant when my whole life has been laid bare showing that I had played with two hearts at the same time.

"If Stel had an issue she would have made it known. My daughter isn't backwards in coming forwards Abbs. Stop worrying, com' on pick dinner with me. Please" Paul guided me gently to the sofa and flopped down arms and legs in all directions, making me smile "Remember .. I was such a greedy bugger with the couch"

"That you were" I laid my head back, closing my eyes. The day, the night before, was catching up with me, maybe a quick cat nap to revive my senses.

"Oh no you don't -I'm hungry"

"You were always hungry. It wasn't George it was you, and John, he loved those orange ..., what were they, cake things, and choc oliver's sooo much"

"Jaffa cakes. Remember the afternoon he bet he could eat the whole pack of oliver's and ten jaffa cakes in one sitting?" Paul sat up laughing at the memory, looking down upon my half closed eyes, the way he watched was as though I would turn to smoke and disappear. I reached out and touched his jaw lightly, then recalled the results of Johns bet.

"He'd only just finished a slap-up bacon and egg breakfast....oh boy, I made him clean the toilet after he threw it all back up, disgusting mess it was" Dropping my eyes to my hand I spun the wedding ring on my finger Hailey had been on and on at me to put it away in my jewellery box, maybe I should have. "Chinese"

"I beg your pardon" Paul put on his posh voice and grabbed for my hand to look at the ring.

I stood and put distance between us. "Dinner- Chinese, there's a good one a k or so from here, they'll deliver.... For you"

We ate in agreeable silence after that, an occasional recollection of us or the boy's escapades, but mainly quiet reflection and scattered smiles laced the meal, washed down with a glass or two of wine.

Paul always touching my hand, my cheek, my hair, it was scary and home all rolled into one. Catching me watching him as he finished his glass of water he would take my hand and just hold, the feelings of knowing someone so well returning, feelings that we had quelled all those years ago, hovering, wanting desperately to break free, and just be.

"Where will the girls be?" I pondered as I cleaned up the containers for the bin, Paul patted his stomach and slunk off to the couch to recover from his over indulgence.

"Who knows... they're not here that's the main thing"

"I want to talk with Stella, get to know her" I smirked and went forward to the connecting door.

"Don't you dare Miss Grant" Paul was psychic, he never even turned his head maybe I was just easy to read, still.

"I haven't been called that in forever. I'll just poke my nose in and make sure they've eaten"

"Don't. Just lock it" Paul tossed "And come over here. We will have time with them at breakfast"

"But I'm sleeping in their -" I started speaking but Paul jumped off the couch, reached my side in milliseconds and his hand flew up to cover my mouth.

"Sleepover love" The doe eyed boy was back and I bit my lip, the years on his face fell away, he was and still is, gorgeous and I... I was suddenly a  twenty year old again.