Beautiful (Jd x Veronica) discontinued

Chapter 13

this is kind of a filler?? i had writers block and decided to just write a chapter mostly focusing on jd's character development i guess. it was also rushed so i'm terribly sorry if this chapter is absolutely horrible. although i hope you enjoy and not die from all the fluff. this chapter contains too much f l u f f and maybe its not like jd's character but eh its my story lol okay enjoy this chapter that im kinda dreading to post because its genuinely not that great okay

I was walking next to J.D. as we were on our way to Kurt's house. We decided that I might as well end things with him right away since staying with him wouldn't do me any good and was just pointless. We were only a few inches apart from each other and I was so tempted to grab his hand which would occasionally brush against the back of my own.

"I never understood that term... you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself." J.D. said breaking the silence. I glanced up at him. He was looking straight ahead with no exact emotion showing on his face. His forehead creased slightly. "Isn't it easier to love someone else than it is to love yourself? I mean I don't really understand love at all but, I know it definitely has to be easier to embrace that to someone else than with your own reflection. Right?"

"It is a weird saying although, I could see why it may be considered true." I said with not much reassurance. I never took much thought into it. I've heard the phrase before maybe once or twice.

"May I have an example?" J.D. asked with an amused expression on his face.

I shrugged. "Maybe not loving yourself and pushing that very strong emotion onto others can cause you to rely on them. It is possible that one can love someone to an extent to where they're practically all you have. It's a temporary replacement for self love. What would you do if they happened to leave your life for good? You'd have no where to place that love and you'd just be... broken. I do think it's possible to love someone else even if one doesn't love themselves but, it would be easier to learn how to love yourself first."

"I never really thought about it that way. I guess that isn't exactly wrong." He mumbled. I didn't understand why J.D. even brought this up. Then again it wasn't unusual for him to randomly take a casual conversation into a deep meaningful one.

"You sound uncertain. Do you disagree?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'm not sure. Like I said before I still haven't wrapped my mind around a clear understanding of what love is. I can't say I relate to a single aspect to the saying. It's just always been such an odd saying to me. Every single person is different. What if one person simply does not hold the capability of loving themselves?" He said as he shoved his hands into his pockets. I slowly stopped walking and he turned with a confused look on his face.

"Jason... should I be concerned. Are you having like insecurity issues and such?" The words came out of my mouth very slowly as if I was about to be the bearer of some horrible news.

He snorted, which made me flinch. That only made him laugh again. "Veronica with all the shit I have going on do you really think self love is my main concern?"

"It's possible." I mumbled and looked down, slightly embarrassed.

He sighed then took a few steps towards me. He placed two fingers under my chin and slightly lifted my head up, just enough so he could look me in the eyes. "My mental health is totally fine in that aspect." I raised a brow when he said that and he smiled at me. "It's nice to know you're concerned."

"By that aspect do you mean that in other areas your mental health isn't great?"

"Ms. Sawyer I live with my alcoholic father who finds joy in causing me pain. What do you expect?" His voice was soft but, the sentence still sounded passive aggressive.