LGBT and me

Important asexal stuff

So I got some actual lgbtq+ stuff To talk about today!!! I'm sure you've all been waiting....

So this is fairly important..... At least to anyone that is reading this and is potentially asexual (I'm assuming most of the readers are.... But now I'm curious what all your orientations are)

Well.... A big fear with the asexual community is really a question we always ask ourselves....

Am I really asexual?

Well this is an easy question to ask yourself, I mean, how do you know that you don't feel something right? I mean you'd know if you liked girls right?? But are you ever really sure you don't feel a type of attraction??

Well I always knew I was asexual, it seemed so obvious to me, even before I knew there was an actual name for it.... Even when I was little, when I was about six I remember telling my cousin that I never wanted to have sex, I may not have known the word sex then, but I knew what it was, and I have never wanted any part in it.

it's easy to know that I'm asexual, I don't understand sex, I hate seeing movies with a lot of (in detail) sex, the action of sex seems..... Strange to me... I don't get it really.... Like why would anyone want to do that??? Like in my mind it's weird, and unnecessary, and gross, and just awkward and like why?? Why would people do that??

Anyways, off topic, I don't have a problem with questioning that I am asexual, I've always known, my whole life..... No doubts.... But.... The problem is....

Why am I asexual? Why am I not like everyone else?

This runs through my head quite a bit actually..... Umm I don't get it, what makes me asexual? Why do I have to be this way?

I guess mainly I have a question for anyone who's asexual and who possibly knows what I'm talking about....

Have you ever like wanted to not be asexual like just to see what it was like not being asexual? To finally understand or to see what it would be like??

Like I don't really wanna stop being asexual.... I just wish I could see what it would be like being normal.... Like everyone else, just for like a day or something to understand what people see in this whole sex thing.... Like I don't get why people want to do it, like in my opinion it seems strange and uncomfortable and odd, and idk I just don't get it..... And I probably never will but I'd like to just see what it would be like if I wasn't asexual.... Not to actually permanently not be asexual just to see... I guess I'm kinda curious about the whole concept and I don't understand.... I just wanna know what it would be like....

Like there are people who see someone and think man I wanna do them or something, like they think of sex, that they wanna do that....

Like wanna know what I think when I see someone (this is the person I'm in a relationship with cause I don't talk to anyone else, and he's the only one I find even a little attractive)

Man he's fucking adorable, I wanna go on a walk with him, and maybe stare at his face and eyes a little, I wanna go to the park and swing on the swings, or just sit somewhere and have a conversation all night long, I just want him around me, I don't wanna do anything......

Im sorry this got really off topic, I'd just like to know how people handle being different from everyone else.... How they know there's so many people out there who want and understand something that you don't? I'd really like some help with this....

this has always kinda bothered me a little, like it's been in the back of my mind, just like a thought where I occasionally realize that I'm not like everyone else (or majority) and that people actually want sex, that they actually think about it and don't wanna vomit, like that they somehow find it.... Idk, enjoyable?? And you're there thinking that couldn't be possible and it seems totally fake that someone would want that..... But then I guess to them we seem weird right? They probably think how could someone be repulsed to sex? ....... It's an interesting concept I think.....

Well this probably doesn't make any sense lol, it's 1:16 In the morning so I can't think (or type) that well..... but I'm gonna post it anyways, and please please commenting you have any information, stories, or advice.... Please this has really been bothering me lately......

Umm hopefully you understand what I was trying to say, I probably would've worded it better and made more sense in less words if it wasn't so late/early..... Sorry this was so long, and I guess that's it for this chapter....

Questions???? Comments????

~Hallie