The unexpected illness.

March; "Dreams do come true but do they last?"

5th of march 2013 

OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. TODAY I HAVE SEEN THE MOST GORGEOUS PERSON IN THE WORLD PERFORM LIVE AND WE WERE VERY CLOSE! JUSTIN BIEBER LITERALLY STARED RIGHT AT ME AND SMILED. I MEAN HIS FAMOUS BEAUTIFUL HEART SKIPPING A BEAT SMILE. ME AND MY FRIEND LITERALLY COULDN'T STOP CRYING OR SHAKING. I HAVEN'T EATEN ALL DAY BUT WHO NEEDS TO EAT WHEN YOU ARE ENJOYING LIFE LIKE THIS? I AM STILL CURRENTLY CRYING. THE PAGE IS BECOMING SOAKED THROUGH LIKE A POOL OF WATER. I MET HIS MANAGER. YES SCOOTER. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. HE HIGH FIVED ME AND TOOK A PICTURE WITH ME. AHHH! I ALSO MET HIS DANCER JON. HE BIT HIS LIP, CLEARLY MAKING A MOVIE OR FANCIES ME. I CAN'T EXPRESS HOW HAPPY I AM RIGHT NOW MY THROAT HURTS MY LEG HURTS BUT I STILL HAD THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE. JJUSTIN IS LIKE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I WILL MARRY HIM. I WILL. I WILL. I WILL. HIS PERFECT SKIN, CHEEK BONES, BODY AND VOICE ASJAFGHJFJD.

10th of March 2013

Today just wasn't a good day everything went from bad to worse. No seriously I am not lying. Firstly I woke up with the worst cold in history! I couldn't breathe all night through my nose so I had to sleep with my mouth open which only made it dry and nasty. Which also made me very dehydrated. I stupidly decided to step on the scales mum recently bought and was completely shocked by the outcome. I mean ten stone 3 or maybe 4? I really need to stop scramming biscuits when I get home from school. I normally have about ten biscuits with a cup of tea made with full on sugar and milk. This sounds so nice right now but I must avoid it. It's all making me fatter then I already am. I stared into the mirror for hours after the scale check, I checked to see If i still had a flat stomach no, I checked to see If I had a thigh gap nope, I then checked for a double chin and flab now that's a big fat YES. All the signs of gaining weight. I must have cried for ages just staring into the mirror at myself, looking like a mad psycho women with deep black smudges underneath my eyes. Oh and do you know what else made me feel bad but amazing at the same time? I ate most of my niece's christening cake with about five cups of tea. I just couldn't help myself or stop myself. It was on the side looking all smooth and creamy my mouth was watering and my mind took over. It makes me happy, food makes me happy. Why can't I eat and stay skinny? Not only did this happen today but I also failed my English. Why can't life be easy? 

25th of March 2013

Life is like fantastic. Okay I lied, life is crap. Mum recently got a job as a carer which means she does not only days but also nights in the week which then means I have the wonderful job of being stuck with Abigail whilst I study for exams. Do you know how hard it is to concentrate when you have your bratty sister following you everywhere screaming for no reason? of course you don't know, you don't have to live with her. I cannot stand babysitting it takes up pretty much 99% of my weekdays and weekends, the other one percent being taken over by revision. When do I get free time? the thing is I can't say no. She needs the money and has to work due to law. (Pathetic laws may I add). I feel so guilty straight after I moan and argue with her about it, because well it isn't her fault she has to work. Okay it's her fault for having another child but still, that's another story. I also have exams and exams this week wish my luck for life. I feel a lot more major stress coming on.