Slave For Lust

Lust Twent Nine

"Queen? What's wrong?" He asked for the nth time this day.

And still, I remain quiet and smile at him like there's really nothing wrong.

After kong nagcollapse last night ay nagpatawag agad sila ng doktor upang kompirmahin ang hinala nilang buntis ako.

But it's negative. Para bang nabunutan ng tinik ang kanilang dibdib sa impormasyong yun.

"You're unusally quiet since this morning. And it's making me worry."

I can sense the sincerity in his voice.
Like he really cared. It sounded so effin real.

"N--nothing. It's just.. I'm thinking about our OJT for next month." I lied.

Tumikhim siya.
"Yeah? What about it? Is it in a hotel nearby or outside the city?" He casually asked.

Di ko pa nga pala siya nasabihan tungkol sa kung saan ako magjo-job training.

"It's uhmm--outside." I hesitantly replied.

"Uhuh. That's okay." He moved near me as we were sitting together. We just finished our lunch inside the school cafe.

He guided my head to rest on his shoulder. He gave me a peck in the forehead.

Oh God. How could this all be fake? Ansakit sa heart. Yung akala mo abot kamay mo na, biglang lagapak sa lupa mga besh. Ganung ganun eh. Tama nga siguro yung kasabihang sa kada tawa mo eh may ganting balde baldeng luha in the end. Tsk.

"Maybe I can go visit you or date you when I am not busy." Dagdag niya pa. Inangat ko ang aking tingin sa kanya. Sinalubong niya ang tingin ko ng isang matamis na ngiti.

Who wouldn't fall for his charm? Di ko naman kasalanang nahulog ako sa hotness at kagwapuhan niya, diba? Babae lang din ako.. marupok.. you know..

"But you can't.." I replied.

Kumunot ang kanyang noo.
"Why not? Bawal ba?" He curiously ask.

I shook my head.

"No. We'll be.. Brit and I.. we will be at the Allure..alam mo naman yun diba? It's a --"

"It's a cruise ship. You will be in a cruise ship for five months. Five fucking months! Jeez, why--why.. why there?!" This time, the gentleness is gone. It was replaced by a furious one.

"I thought it wouldn't matter.our contract will end before I even board the ship, Race. So why? Bakit nagagalit ka? As far as I know, wala ito sa kontrata. Ang pakialaman mo ang mga personal decisions ko." I just blurted it out. It came out of the blue.

Parang napapasong dumistansya sa akin.
"The contract huh? Yeah. That fuvking contract. Tsss. So should I revise it? Para wala kang maisumbat sa akin?" Nagtatampo niyang sabi.

I touched his arm and carress it gently.
"That is not what I meant, Captain. Wasn't it you made everything clear in the very beginning? This is nothing but just a contract. At naiintindihan ko kung bakit kailangan mong magkunwaring may pakealam.. nasasaktan.. at talagang may pagtingin sa akin even there's really none. I get it now. I truly understand now that you'll never be mine. Na umaasa lang ako sa wala. Na lahat ng ito, isang malaking pagkukunwari lang." Madamdamin kong pahayag. He's not healthy for me, I admit. Kahit na siya lang ang tanging happy pill ko.

"The fvck? You sound like you're breaking up with me, queen!"  He angrily exclaimed.

"Which I could not do, right? Dahil sa kontrata, after a hundred days--"

"Fvck the fvcking contract, Guevarra! I burnt it along time ago already! And this is not pretence! I am in love with you! I am madly in love with you! Don't you get it? Tsss! Aww shit! This is not how I planned of confessing! There should be fireworks.. candle light dinner in that rooftop again--"