It's a Hard Knock Life for Us (Thorinduil AU)

XII • : Forever : •

A/N: Two chapters in less than three days? DANG BOY,, SOMEONE GIVE ME A MEDAL

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Thranduil's POV

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It had been a week since my bandages were taken off, and even though I knew I should feel better, I was too confused to do so.

Now I know I'm not very educated in the whole "social skills" department, but I knew enough to realize that Thorin Oakenshield was flirting with me. It wasn't just that one time, there'd been a couple incidents before and after that, too. Each time I'd been flustered as could be and told him to hush. He'd just laugh and grin like a complete dork. However that day...

Something happened that day. When he had said that–that thing and had stopped right in his tracks. I think he knew how I felt, and frankly, I think it took him by surprise.

Now, the whole predicament was rather complicated, not just because feelings are often hard to decipher and difficult to get along with in the first place, but because there were other factors that messed with it.

1.) Elves and dwarves don't mix. It wasn't something you saw or participated in. In fact, it was on Middle Earth's "ABSOLUTELY DO NOT DO" list, and the basic racism between the two was to prove it.

2.) To fall in love with a dwarf was by far the most irresponsible, idiotic thing that any elf could possibly do. A hundred years goes by in the blink of an eye for an elf, but for dwarves it's nearly half a life time. So when the dwarf dies? What would happen then? Would the elf mourn and move on? Would they end their own life? That question came to me frequently. It was such a parasitic thought, frustrating my brain and carving into my heart. It burrowed itself in any place it could, and after it was deep inside, it drained me. I would last forever, but he wouldn't. I would last forever, but we wouldn't.

We wouldn't last forever.

3.) Male and male relationships were rare. Very rare. So insanely rare that only a handful had been seen in decades. Tell me how that was going to work over with the parents, with the races, with the kingdoms?

4.) Speaking of kingdoms, we were both Princes and if we were to perhaps, well, try to erm—we couldn't live in the same place, we both have different kingdoms to be at and- and-

"Shut up, shut up! You need to calm down." I needed to stop thinking about it as soon as possible. The more I thought about it, the more I worried. The more I worried, the less I ate. The less I ate, the more Thorin worried. And the more Thorin worried, the more upset I got with myself. I didn't want to worry him, I was already causing enough trouble just by staying at his house.

That day, I was alone in his room. Thorin was at work with Hirol and wouldn't be back home for another four hours, which meant I had plenty of time to sit and think. That's exactly what I didn't need.

What I did need was him there with me. I needed him to talk to me to get my mind off of those horrible thoughts. I needed him to talk to me so I wouldn't go completely insane. I didn't blame him for going to work though, and I knew it was something he wanted to do. Work was good for him; it kept him in shape and talking to people. I understood his place as a blacksmith's apprentice, and I understood my place as the stowaway Prince.