hold on | johnny cade

06

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TWO-BIT TOLD ME in advance that he was supposed to go somewhere so he couldn't drive us home. I wasn't planning on driving anyway, I wanted to apologize to Ponyboy.

School ended but I decided to stay to go to the library. I wasn't sure why. I walked through the aisles filled with books. Looking at titles, authors, and the pattern of the covers.

I don't know how long I've been there just looking around, but I guess the librarian did.

"Honey, is everything alright? You've been in the same section for the past 15 minutes." I turned around to see the librarian behind the counter. She was a short black woman, didn't look older than 50 years old, and had a few grey strands. Her hair was up in a bun and her round glasses framed her face nicely. You can faintly see wrinkles on her dark complexion.

I smile and nod. "Yeah, I wasn't really looking for a book. Just thinking."

"Well, if you don't mind me asking, what's been on your mind?" She smiled, the wrinkles beside her eyes showing.

I shrugged. "Nothing really, I'm just mad at myself for yelling at a friend of mine. And it was for a foolish reason too. I didn't know what's gotten into me. I want to apologize, but at the same time I don't. I don't know anymore I just know that I messed up."

"I'm sure they'll forgive you. If they're really your friend, then they will." Her hand is on my shoulder to comfort me.

"You don't understand, I kinda pushed their buttons. I don't think they'd ever forgive me. At least not yet. He probably hates me now." I sighed.

The librarian, whose name was Ms. Brewin, cleared her throat. "Well, when I was a little girl," She adjusted her glasses. "My mother once told me that it's not how we make mistakes, but how we correct them that defines us."

I let the words sink in and grinned. "Thanks, Ms. Brewin. I really needed that."

She smiled. "No problem, dear. Now go, you don't want your friend to wait any longer."

↭

I slowly, but quickly walked over to the Curtis' house. I didn't want to get jumped by Socs, especially since I'm alone which makes me even more vulnerable. Ponyboy's house wasn't too far from school, took about maybe 20 minutes. I rehearsed what I was going to say in my head along the way and soon enough, I was at their doorstep.

I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Now that I think about it, I'm not sure why I knocked since they always leave the door unlocked for us. It took a few moments before the door opened and a pair of bright blue eyes popped out.

"Hi, Nina, what's up? Come in!" Sodapop grinned his signature movie star smile that always made my heart melt.

I stepped in seeing Steve gobbling up chocolate cake and Johnny sitting on the couch watching Mickey Mouse. Dally was sitting on the recliner examining his switchblade. Darry must still be at work I thought.

They greeted me with a wave and a nod. "Thanks, Soda. Have you seen Ponyboy? I kinda have to talk to him...privately." I said the last part quietly.

"Oh, yeah. He's in his - I mean our bedroom. You can go ahead and check on him."

I nodded. "Thanks."

I walked up the stairs, slightly creaking and went towards the door closest to the bathroom. I lightly knocked on the door.

"Come in."

I did so and found Pony sitting on his bed and staring at his wall. Guilt was all I felt. I sat on his bed, but kept a safe distance knowing he's still upset and needs space.

"Hey."

He responded a few moments later. "Hi."

"I uh, just want to say sorry for yelling at you earlier. It was stupid and I know it was really bitchy for me to do considering we were in public and made a scene." I sighed. "I'm such an idiot."

He chuckled. "You sure are."

I faced him and he was smiling softly, and I returned one. "So, do you forgive me?" Hope was heard in my voice.

"Yeah, yeah whatever I-" I cut him off by hugging him.

I giggled. "Sorry, it's just that I'm glad we made up. I'm really shitty when it comes to all of that sappy crap."

"Don't worry, I am too."

↭

The two of us walked downstairs and surprisingly Johnny was still watching Mickey Mouse. Pony and I decided to join him. I laid my head on his shoulder while Pony read a book he had to read for school.

"Still watching? I thought Two-bit was obsessed." I laughed.

Johnny shrugged. "What? It's the only good show on right now."

It only took me a few seconds to realize that Two-bit still didn't come back. I looked at the time and it was 9:00 PM. Sure, he came home later before but I thought he'd be here by the time I went downstairs with Ponyboy. Even Darry came back from work and I started to get worried.

I spoke up. "Hey, have you guys seen Two-bit? He told me he's going somewhere but it's getting late and didn't come back yet."

The boys responded by shaking their heads. "Don't worry about him, he's probably out drinking." Steve said.

Despite the feeling my gut was telling me, I thought he was right.

Until the front door swung open, shocked at the sight in front of me.