letters assembled.

heartbreak

The truth is I know you are unsure.
The truth is I am too.
If you are unsure how you feel for me though how can you say the things you do?
I know you want things perfect and miss the way things once were.
So if she walked back into your life how would you respond?
How would you respond.
If everything came crashing down in flames around you how would you respond?
You wont let me down.

But a change in feeling is not uncommon.
A change in feeling is not you letting me down
But What if you are wrong.
What if this is wrong.
The doubt in my mind consumes me.
The thought of not being enough drives me to madness.
Fuckkkkkkkkkk.
I don't want anything that isnt genuine, but how genuine is this? How genuine are your feelings?
I've been lied to before.
I've been broken too many times to count.
Ill take it again with a smile on my face and a quirk in my step.
Truth is, im prepared.
Hah. I can tell myself that all I want but it isn't the truth.
Why even write anymore... Everything I create makes me sick.
Makes me weak.
Sometimes I think about what i would tell you. When I potentially find that enough is enough.
It would do nothing but benefit you to make distance from me... Part of me thinks you won't though...
I feel like I am not who you want. I am not the best you could have.
But yeah. It still hurts to hear that you may not want me.
You just want that feeling that I give you. Or that you think I can give you.
The happiness that consumes me when i see your smile and hear your laugh almost is scaring me. The thought that one day you'll wake up and reverse all the words. Take them all back
It saddens me that things have to be like this. I just wish we could be happy and end these negative thoughts and feelings.
And then the music picks up.
The feeling surrounds me.
The drugs kick in.
Yall don't know me.
I am free once again.
Silence surrounds me.
I needa chill.
I needa cut back.
I really need to distance myself.
On some real I refuse to be hurt again.
I gotta take what you give me and move myself on.
Shit.
All the real homies gone.
Locked up, dead or not around.
My brothers all gone.
The fam aint make it.
And she happy far from me just like you should be..
Hah.