The Melody Of Us

To the rainbows

"You take one step closer to me, and I'll run a truck over you!" I scream and jump over the centre table, almost giving a heart attack to my mother dearest.

Yes, I used the word 'mother'. Don't make a big deal out of this.

"And what if I take ten steps closer? Will you then run an airplane over me?" Heather shouts and continues to follow me with cream in her hands.

Ew.

Even the sight of that slick material makes me want to choke. Leave alone the thought of having Heather lovingly decorate my face with it.

Ew Ew Ew. Just ew.

"Airplane? I'll plant you inside a rocket and send you off to another planet where monkeys speak and humans swing over trees!"

I can't help myself. I start giggling whilst throwing threatening comments her way. That makes the scene even more hilarious.

Apparently, my new friends gave Heather an idea of sparkling my face with some disgusting cream tainted with cocoa powder, because it is my birthday and simply why not?

Let's make this the day Liana Matthias Hall will want to remember for ever. And not in an amazingly perfect way. See what I mean?

I scramble behind the staircase, knocking over a precious little vase (it was anything but little) and trigger Myra's anger-frustration blow up.

"You hormonal teenagers will ruin my house!" She scolds and huffs.

"I'm sorry, Myra! Ask Heather to place her butt firmly against the couch!" I say, ducking behind the dining table.

"Heather! Stop!"

That was enough. Why didn't I involve Myra into this cream fight earlier?

Heather freezes on the spot and Hailey and Cath continue to snigger in the background.

Oh, I'll deal with them later.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Jane. We were just having some fun." Heather apologizes and I grin victoriously.

"Your definition of fun needs some improvising."

With this, Myra empties the whole tin of cream over my face and starts laughing.

"Happy Birthday, Liana. Now you definitely look like a birthday girl."

That wicked, wicked witch!

"Wuaaat the fwuck?!"

Damn it, I can't even curse like a normal human being now. Courtesy to the slick, grimy and disgusting cream.

Ew.

And that's when dad chooses to butt in.

"Do we have a snowman in the house?" He jokes, because the birthday girl decided to wear a white, puffy sweater. How unconditional.

Jesus. I have a dysfunctional family.

Everyone in the room bursts out laughing. They clutch at their stomachs and roll over the beige carpet.

And I stand there like a nomad.

Surprise!

I curse them mentally. Yes, that's exactly what I do.

To Myra : the cream stain will never wear off her carpet, not even if she uses her tears to remove it.

To dad: he'll never be able to get Ronaldo's autograph. Never ever in his entire life.

To Heather: she'll make her top go see through during lunch time in the cafeteria and become the subject of a skin-numbing joke.

To Hailey : she won't be able to download all the seasons of Friends on her laptop, and no one will lend them to her.