Year 12 (First Draft)

-Chapter 12-

  "I don't know what more I can do," Paul's voice sounds far off, almost as if he is in another room.

  "You have to do something," This time it's Andrea, her voice sounding closer. "Felisha," Andrea says, her voice growing increasingly closer, "I don't know if you can hear me or not, but if you can, do what I say. Survive. You're good at that. Don't fail now. We have so much more to do, and we can't do it without you. He can't do it without you."

  "Andrea," Paul again, "she needs to rest. Let's leave her for now. I'll check on her periodically, and if things go south, you'll be the first to know."

  "I should've done something," Andrea says bitterly, "that's why she's leading and I'm just assisting. She's not afraid to do whatever is needed, and I always wait until it's too late."

  "Felisha," This time it is Kane who is talking to me. "I know you're in pain, but you need to listen to me. I need you to listen to me."

  His voice disappears for what feels like an eternity, and I feel the need to cry. Even if all I get of Kane is his voice, I crave it. It feels like ages ago that I was standing in front of him, talking, leaning against him, taking in his comfort he offered.

  "Andrea, Paul, Amelia, they need you. I need you. The bullet, it missed your heart and hit your shoulder. Paul did all he could. You lost a lot of blood, so it's your fight now, Felisha. No more can be done except by you."

  I feel myself being pulled away, and suddenly I hear nothing.

  "Felisha?" I blink against the bright light invading my eyes. I try to sit up, but cool hands push me back onto the bed. "Welcome back."

  Paul's hands work their way to my shoulder, adjusting the gauze that's pressed to my tender skin.

  "Paul," I croak, my voice out of practice, "what happened?"

  Paul's hands still, and I instantly regret asking the question. Whatever did happen must have been awful. I close my eyes, thinking back to the riot before everything turned ugly. I think back to the woman in the streets with her starving children. I think of the gun I could have pulled out and shot the old man with. I would have died no doubt, a shot fired by any Agent standing by, but at least that wretched man would be gone. My blood runs cold in my veins, and I wait for Paul to open up about the riot.

  "After you were shot, Andrea grabbed you and ran you back to me," Paul shudders, as if the statement has brought back an overwhelming memory. "I thought you were going to die," He whispers, his voice too real, too honest.

  Paul takes a seat on my bed, and I notice the dark circles under his eyes, the red tint around his irises. "There was blood everywhere, and I started to think that you were going to bleed to death... but you're strong. You fought your way back. As for the riot..." Paul trails off, his gaze avoiding mine. I sit patiently, not wanting to rush him, but inside I am desperately awaiting his news. "They killed all of them," He finishes, spitting it out like it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. "The Agents made Kane watch all of his people die. They broadcasted it as a reminder to all what could happen if they side with Kane. It was... it was a sick display of their power."

  "Is Kane okay?" I ask, my throat tight.

  "I'm sure he's not okay," Paul says shaking his head, "but the Government took him away. They didn't hurt him that anyone knows of. Not physically anyway."

  My heart stalls in my chest. Kane saw me get shot. He knew it was me.

  "Paul, we need to send out a message of our own. I need to send out a message in response," I tell him, the words spilling out of my mouth in a jumble. "Kane knew it was me who was shot," I say frantically, tears threatening to spill over. "He needs to know I'm okay."

  "Letting him know means fueling the Government and their desire to see you disposed of," Paul reminds me.

  "I want to go see my brother," I say. I haven't seen him recently. Life's been crazy. I'm sure Paul understands that.

  "There she is," Paul, my brother, snarls, and I instantly hate the Government even more. They always have control when I really need to talk to him. I brace myself and enter the room. The door whooshes closed behind me, and Paul stands just outside the door in case things go wrong with my brother. "What has you crawling back to see me?"

  "Those idiots don't know when to quit," I mumble, my breath catching. Paul has moved from his spot in the corner, and has started to stalk toward me. His face gaunt, his eyes dark.

  "Those idiots are doing better than you ever will. You're a failure Felisha. You failed mom, dad, me, and now you're failing Kane. Not only that, but you're failing all of his faithful followers. I," Paul flinches, his body beginning to shake. I take a step back as he comes to stand right in front of me. "I... don't want to say any of this... I can't... Fel."

  I step back up against the glass, holding my hand out to my brother, but keeping a steady distance away from his empty gaze.

  "It's me Fel," Paul says, and I notice the difference in the way he's carrying himself. He's himself for the time being.

  "I need to talk, Paul," I say, my voice quiet, "and you're the best person to talk to. I don't know what to do."

  "If he was here it wouldn't magically give you the ideas you need," Paul says, "and you wouldn't need the ideas in the first place. He'd have it covered."

  I swallow the lump in my throat. Even if my brother is half taken over by the Government, he's still wiser than I am. He's right after all. All I need to do is come up with my own ideas and stop mourning Kane's absence. It is much easier said than done. Against the Government, winning seems like an impossible feat.

  "Felisha," Paul's voice is so clear, so him, that tears nearly spring to my eyes as he continues, "I believe in you. I don't know how much that is worth at this point, but I'm always on your side."

  I feel my heart clench, and I offer up a small smile to Paul. He smiles back, but the look is weary, and I can tell that the Government's pull on him is exhausting him. I step forward, and pull him in for a hug. His arms wrap around my shoulders, and his face settles in my neck, and for the first time I feel his wet eyelashes against the soft skin of my neck, and I feel the slight tremor in his arms every time he breathes.

  "It means everything, Paul," I say, being completely honest. I value my brother's opinion more so than I value my own.

  "Fel... I know you have a lot on your plate right now, and I don't want to come across as selfish, or anything of that nature," Paul stops, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat, "but I need this to end. Kane is a priority and I know that, but I need to be me again. This constant pull, the terrible feeling of not having control, it needs to stop."

  I nod against my brother's shoulder, and pull away.

  "I will do whatever it takes," I say, smiling reassuringly.

  Paul stands suddenly, and walks to the other side of the room again, our brief moment forgotten. He smiles, his eyes deep and dark, his mouth agape.

  "You better hurry Felisha," His voice taunts, "Kane is only human after all."

  My brother's Government fed words haven't left me all day. Of course I know that Kane is human, and with that, he struggles just as much as anyone else. The difference is in Kane's response. He is extremely level headed, and he never expresses just how much something affects him.

  I pull out my LR-5, and pull up my notepad, thinking back to all the other plans I've attempted to write on here, and how many crashed and burned.

  I instead pull a pad of paper and a pen out of Kane's desk, and begin to scrawl out a new plan.

A/N~ I cannot apologize enough for this long wait! Now that school is finally out, I am going to be able to update much more frequently. Thank you for your patience, and please leave your comments below as to how you are feeling about Year 12 :) 

Until next time my dear Year Movement! -Sarah