Year 12 (First Draft)

-Chapter 27-

  I rest against Kane, my mind wandering. I keep imagining what will transpire the day after tomorrow. I have the rest of today and tomorrow for my brain to try and process it all. Kane keeps asking me if I'm alright, what's on my mind, if I need to talk about anything. I tell him I'm fine, that I'm just tired, and that I don't want to bore him with my thoughts. In reality, I just can't tell him the truth. How would I even if I could?

  How do you tell the person you care about most that you're going to hurt them? How do you tell them that you plan to do something that may break them?

  Kane's lips against my forehead are soft reminders that he's there and he cares. He cares so much more than I deserve.

  I wonder what he'll do when Andrew and Andrea come, when they pull him away and I stay. I know now the Government Agents won't let me leave. Any hope I had left the second I walked within ten feet of the Cells. We'll be lucky if we can get Kane out safely, let alone me too. I grasp at a sliver of hope, but it feels impossible.

  "Really," Kane whispers, "talk to me."

  "I can't," I manage to choke out, my throat tight, my emotions' grips viselike on my throat, my voice. I feel as though my tongue is lead. I can't bring myself to say anything. In order for our plan to work, Kane can't know anything.

  "You're scaring me," He says, his voice a tremor, "are you sure you don't need to tell me anything?"

  "Yeah," I lie, "the past few months are just catching up with me I guess." It's a half-truth. It's a half lie. I feel sick having to lie to him. I promised myself I wouldn't do that again, yet here I am.

  "I'm here for you," Kane reassures me, "I'm here always. Don't forget that."

  "How do you do it?" I ask, hating myself the second I ask the question, knowing where I intend this question to go.

  "Do what?" Kane asks, shifting so he's facing me more.

  "Make those decisions for yourself that affect everyone?"

  Kane's eyebrows knit. "Why do you ask?"

  I jump when I hear a loud sigh in my ear. It must be Paul. "You there Fel?"

  I pull away from Kane, walking back to the corner. "I'm here."

  "I have bad news," The voice says, and I realize it's Andrew, not Paul.

  "How bad?" I ask, ignoring Kane as he walks up behind me.

  "Bad, meaning we're going to have to get you guys tomorrow. They've moved up his trial date. It's three days from now." Andrew's voice is cold, hard. I know exactly how they plan for his trial to play out. They will convict him, and find any way possible to kill him for his crimes.

  "Meaning they really didn't mean a word they said," I say, referring to my deal with the old man.

  "Felisha, what's going on?" Kane asks, grabbing my shoulder, forcing me to turn back around.

  "I'll see you tomorrow," I say, ending the call. I avoid Kane's gaze.

  "What's going on?" He repeats, his voice beginning to grow agitated. "Who were you talking to?"

  I look up, forcing myself to meet Kane's eyes.

  "We're getting out of here tomorrow."

  "You're insane," Kane says, after listening to my plan. I don't care who hears the conversation because Kane will leave no matter what. I'll stay if I have to, I'll do whatever is needed.