Chapter One; My Cookies Bring All The Boys To The Yard!

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General Magmar's POV

So today, the bosses thought that we should take a little break from the same old fighting junk. I decided that I should make some of my famous magma chip cookies.

I began gathering ingredients but then Jestro came in the kitchen. "Oh, hey, General Magmar! Whatcha up to?" I placed the pans on the counter.

"Making some cookies." "Cool! Do you mind if I watch? I never was too good at cooking.." He fiddled with the end of his hat. "Ughhh, fine. Just pay attention and DON'T SCREW IT UP." I groaned as I pinched the skin between my eyes.

He gasped and ran over to the counter to watch me. I picked up a cup and filled it with flour. "What's that?" "It's...FLOUR. YOU KNOW, WHITE POWDER?" He backed up and filled his cup with it as well.

"Like this?" I nodded and poured it into the bowl. He very abruptly dumped his in his own bowl, making a very big cloud. "Ugh. I don't know WHAT possessed the Master to make you my second master but BOY did he mess up." I murmured. He coughed and rubbed his eyes. "Heh heh! Uh...whoops!" I stared at him, my left eye twitching.

"S-sorry, Magmar..I suck at cooking, like everything else.." He pouted with his arms crossed. I felt kinda rotten about yelling at him now. "No. It's fine, just an accident." "So, um, what do we do now?" "Add eggs, milk and magma chips."

He picked up an egg and smashed it on the counter. "WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" "Adding eggs?" He said as he raked the smashed egg into the bowl. I facepalmed and sighed. "Well, that's one way to do it. I pity the poor person that has to eat those...." He laughed and continued to add the other ingredients.

He picked up the milk carton and slung it across it, spilling milk everywhere. I tried to ignore his awful mistakes but it was hard to look away. I handed him a bowl full of magma chips. "Here. Add a few of these." He picked up a huge handful and screamed in pain. "Oh I forgot to mention. They're magma chips."

He flung them in the bowl, even though they mostly ended up on the floor, and ran to the sink to cool off his hand. He came back to the counter with a throbbing red hand. "Owww....so now what?" "You...mix them together." I picked up a spoon and motioned it to him. He picked his up with his good hand and mixed it together slowly.

A few minutes later, and it was time to shape them. Oh God, how's he going to wreck THIS? I rolled the small lump of dough into a ball and flattened it a bit. I pushed it in front of his face to show him how to do it. He tried to do it but all he could manage to make was a small heart shaped thing. Kinda cute.

But then he asked, "Hey why don't we just roll it all into one huge ball? That would get the job done faster!" "NOOOO! DO NOT DO THAT, JESTRO!" "Oh, really? Why?" "Because it'd be like eating a raw lump of flour, eggs, magma chips, and milk! Or in your case, a lump of a cup of flour, smashed eggs, milk, and magma chips you dropped on the floor!" "Fine. But what's the difference in-?" "Just do what I say, okay sir?" "Fine." He continued making the little heart shaped things.

He picked them all up and carefully placed them in the pan. They didn't look half bad. I picked up both of the pans and called Flama over. "Why do we need him?" "We don't have an oven." "Why not?" "It was a budget issue okay? Now all you have to do is hold the pans over his head with these sticks. Make sure they're only up there for 10 MINUTES EXACTLY. No more or less time than that or else they will not turn out right. Got it?"

He nodded and held the pan-sticks over his head very steadily. I had to walk away to check on how the monsters are training for battle. I can trust him right? A few minutes over ten minutes later, I ran into the kitchen to smell a bit of smoke. "JESTRO, WHAT DID YOU DO?!" He pulled the pans off of Flama's head quickly. He dropped them onto the counter.

"Didn't you keep up with the time, Jestro?" "It's not my fault! I don't have a watch! So I just kinda...eyeballed it?" I looked at the soot-black practical sweetened rocks. "Maybe the others won't vomit when they take a bite out of one." "Okay! I'll get them on a plate and give 'em to them!" He winked and scurried to the cabinet. Oh, Master is going to hate my guts.

Narration!

Jestro walked into the throne room, where The Book of Monsters was sitting. "What are those..?" He raised an eyebrow. "They're magma chip cookies. Me and General Magmar made them together!" The Book of Monsters took a bite out of one of Jestro's and gagged. "Ugh!! Blech! What is IN these things??" "The same old stuff. Why? A-are they....that bad..?" Jestro's eyes turned into full sad, puppy dog eyes at the last part.

The Book felt a little guilty. "Uh, no of course not! They're, uhmm, delicious!" He squeaked. The bookkeeper ate one and almost hurled. The Book gave him a very dirty look and whispered, "Eat it or, when I get arms, I'll shove it down your bloody throat."

The bookkeeper shakily picked another one up, choked it down and gave a toothy grin to Jestro. Jestro smiled and said, "Okay! I'll just leave these here for you guys! I'll see you later!" He skipped joyfully out the throne room.

When the coast was clear of jesters that suck at cooking, every one of the monsters spit out the awful cookies. "Note to self; NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LET HIM NEAR THE KITCHEN." The Book of Monsters groaned.








Hello! Woah, a really long one. My brother requested me to write something about Magmar teaching Jestro how to bake cookies so how could I say no?

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