unspoken ✧ lams

//24//

i sat on the bed,i just lost my mother,the woman who birthed me,the woman who gave me unconditional love,the woman who put up with me for eighteen years,and shes gone,i felt my whole world fall apart just in that small room,i stood from my bed and walked to the restroom with my weak knees and my burning eyes i could barley get there without falling

i felt a churn in my stomach as i hurried to the toilet and threw up,my head was spinning and tears streamed down my face

i flushed and sat against the wall,crying in my knees and thinking about how john would leave me for the mess i am

'god im such a mess' i thought to myself,my heart was pounding against my chest and my head threw back,resting on the wall,felt a presence near me but there was nobody there,i felt heat rush through my body for a moment then i went back to normal,i shrugged it off and stood up,turning on the water to clear my mouth,after i had finished i walked back to the hospital bed and sat there on the edge

you have to push through this alexander,you cant let john see you like this yo-

my thoughts were cut from john walking in and sitting beside me,he didn't say anything,he just grabbed my hand and we sat there in silence for a moment,that moment was heartbreaking for me,i lost everything i love

what if hes next? i asked myself,looking up at john,he was looking ahead,he didn't notice i was staring at him and that was okay with me,i just wanted to get back to my mothers house and pack so i can leave,i didn't want to stay there,there's too many happy memories for me to stay,staying would kill me even more,i kept my eyes on John,i examined every freckle on the side of his face,after about three minutes of this he turned to face me "You okay alex?" he asked,a concerned look filled his face,i couldn't respond,something was keeping me from,i jut kept staring into his eyes,his hazel-blue eyes with little gold specks,they were spectacular,i could look into them all day,all of a sudden i gained control of my body again and nodded,looking back down to the ground in embarrassment

johns POV

"You okay alex?" i asked him,he was just starting with a blank expression,i didnt get a response,he was just staring at me,at my eyes,i tightened my grip on his hand and he moved,slightly nodding and he looked back to the ground,i was starting to get worried about him. I faced forward again and a sigh fell from my lips,i wanted to hold him and tell him it's going to be okay,but i know thats a lie,its not going to be okay.

My heart raced as i felt the doctors presence fill the room,i looked up and he watched alex and i with a half smile

"Mr. Hamilton,Mr. Laurens,you both will be released tomorrow morning" he assured us,he then lookrd over at me

"Mr. Laurens,may i speak to you outside of the room please?"

i nodded and squeezed alex's hand before releasing my grip and walking out,behind the doctor

"Now Mr. Laurens,from Alexander's records there has been no activity from his father for several years,would you possibly know why?"

i looked at alex in the room and closed the door,so he couldn't hear our conversation

"His father left a few years ago,thats the cause of alex not speaking" i sighed,looking throught the glass to see alex still looking at the ground

"Where is he expected to go after you two are released? He's not exactly legal to live on his own,he's seventeen,he could get in major trouble with the law for living without a legal adult over the age of eighteen,and i dont want to see that,especially out of him,hes a good kid." he sighed,looking through the glass at alex

"Actually,after we're released we plan to go by his mothers house to get his stuff,he thinks we will be staying at my parents but i have an apartment,and with me being eighteen wouldnt he legally be allowed to live with me?"

he thoughts for a moment and nodded,"yes,legally with you being the age of eighteen it could work." he smiled

"thank you"

"just doing my job" he smiled and walked off,leaving me alone outside of alexander's hospital room,i waited a moment before walking in and i sat back beside him

"We're getting out of here tomorrow" i smiled and he looked up at me,hugging me to the best of his ability,i wrapped my arms around his waist

alex's POV

i watched john walk out with the doctor,i listened to what they we're saying and of course the first thing i hear the doctor say is

"Now Mr. Laurens,from Alexander's records there has been no activity from his father for several years,would you possibly know why?"

i felt anger fill me,i dispised that man,i hated my him with every bone in my body,i wouldn't even call him my father,after what he had done to my mother and i,i wouldn't care if he was dead or not

i clenched my fist as john closed the door,causing me not to be able to hear them,i kept a strong glare on the ground,rage filled me as i thought of the night he left

it hit me what he was talking about when he yelled at the small woman

my mother had a friend help her pay bills,he probably saw the money under his name and thought there was somebody else,my eyes burned with tears as i thought about it,just as i was about to start crying John cane back in and sat down beside me

"We're getting out of here tomorrow" he smiled,i wrapped my arms around his neck and he slowly put his arms around my waist,he kissed the top of my head and i let go,but he didn't,i smiled softly and laid my head on his chest,the bad memories faded away,all i wanted at this moment is john.

i felt him let go and he laid me down on the bed,"i have to go back to my room" he whispered and kissed my lips softly and quickly before walking out

i felt all the stress leave my body during that kiss,something about it calmed me and made all the bad in this world go away,i let the happiness i was feeling remain,forgetting my father,forgettimg my mothers death,just john.

just john.

a/n
this chapter is so extra but its a happy chapter to make up for last chapters depression,whoop

im currently in virginia as i type this :") but it probably wont be uploaded till later

anywho thats all for this a/n

chloe is oUt

q;how long have you been into musicals
a;ive been in and out sense i was 7 🤷🏼‍♀️