unspoken ✧ lams

//33//

alexs POV

my father was standing at the hospital door way,i sat on the bed in disbelief,my hand in johns

"Alex? aren't you going to say hi?" he spoke,my heart raced

"Actually sir,Alex dosen't speak" john stepped in,his hand still in mine

"C'mon alex,dont be like that" my father looked at john than back to me,"wait,alex are you..?"

i nodded and looked up at john

"H-how? why?" anger grew in his soulless eyes,i swallowed heavy and saw him lunge towards me

johns POV

"alex? wake up? alex?" i softly spoke,shaking alex a bit

all of a sudden alex jolted up,tears streaming down his face,shaking his head,his eyes were glued on the door doorway as if he were waiting for someone to walk in

"Alexander,are you alright?" the doctor asked,alex looked up and wiped his eyes,nodding

Alexs POV

it was a dream
not a dream
a nightmare

my entire body remained shaking in fear my father would really show up,i wrapped my arms around johns waist,wincing at the pain of the cuts

"Alexander,you're safe,i promise" john whispered

i had so many questions running through my mind

the image kept replaying,a scruffy tall man stood in the doorway,"alex?"

alex
alex
alex

im so fucking sick of it
that name
my body
myself
i don't like it
being a boy
i dont like it
i dont want to be a boy anymore
i want to be something else

a/n
YALL KNOW WHAT ALEX BE TALKIN BOUT