unspoken ✧ lams

//30//

Alex's POV

warning!
suicidal actions

i lay on the bed beside john,smiling as his arms wrapped around my abdomen,he was sleeping and damn,i've never seen someone sleep so beautifully before

i closed my eyes just in time for john phone to buzz from the other room,i tried to ignore it but it kept repeating itself,over and over, i huffed and rolled my eyes,kissing the tip of johns nose before carefully removing myself from the bed and grabbing johns phone

i opened his phone to notice he had 10 messages,i clicked the home button to unlock and then quickly clicked messages

they were already opened to messages between john and lafayette

[lafayeet]:love youuuu
[john]:Love you toooo!

every breath i took felt like a knife stabbing in my chest,i read the messages a few times over again,making sure i didn't misread them but it was the same thing,over and over

i slammed his phone down on the counter and fell to the ground,crying,that action woke john because after a moment he stood in front of me, kneeling down

"baby,whats wrong?" he touched my shoulder,but i slapped his hand off and stood up,he stood up almost instantly after,"alex,seriously,whats up?" i closed my eyes and took a deep breath before punching him in the jaw and storming out of the apartment

how could he?
how could they?

i walked down the road quickly,double checking i had my wallet and seeing the walmart come in sight,i walked in quickly and walked to the razors,grabbing a pack of cheap plastic ones and walking to a register

-~•~-
after buying them i quickly walked to the bathroom in the back,tears streaming down my face

i locked the stall door and opened the razors,breaking the plastic around one,holding the cold metal blade in my hand

i touched my wrist with it softly,then quickly pulling away

i can't
i have to

i pressed the blade against my wrist again,slowly dragging it across my soft skin,causing me to cry more as i repeated this down my arm

after a few minutes i threw the blade on the ground,watching the blood fall from the cuts on my wrist

i wrapped toilet paper around my wrist and standing up weakly

i walked put of the bathroom and began to walk back to the apartment,just praying john wasn't there

johns POV

'what did i do?' i thought to myself,my eyes buried in my palms

i sat on the edge of the couch,sobbing,unsure of what i did to alex,wanting to make whatever it is better

i heard the door slowly open and i wiped my eyes,looking up to see alex holding his arm close to his stomach

"alex" i stood up walking over to him

he walked away from me and walked to the bathroom,closing the door behind him

i heard him fall to the floor and i ran in

i saw the love of my life,unconscious on the floor,bleeding from his wrist.

a/n
i LOVE YOU GUYS ALOT OKAY JUST DONT KILL ME