the journal - h.s.

71

[harry’s pov]

That was probably pretty fucking stupid to say considering I had promised myself just last night not to push her into anything. Great job. Couldn’t even hold it fucking back for even 24 hours. I had this weird rush of feeling so endlessly happy and so endlessly exposed that whatever would happen next would probably send me onto an emotional rollercoaster.

God, I was too obsessed with this heavenly girl. That had always been my weakness and my father had always made a great deal of pointing that out; how I too easily cared way too much for something far too quickly.

I had closed my eyes when I had told her, and they were still closed. You know that feeling when you’re dreaming and you just keep falling and falling? That was how I felt. It probably didn’t last for more than four seconds before she parted her kissable warm lips - but it felt like an eternity of falling compressed into the span of those mere four seconds.

Her words were formed with such caress and softness that I held my breath, as I tried to listen past my insanely beating heart. Control yourself.

“As long as you promise me you won’t get hurt... babe.” My eyes flew open and I leaned a little back to see her smile softly up at me. Had she just called me babe? For some unexplainable reason I loved it so fucking much more than I should. The way her lips almost kissed the word on its way had new butterflies fluttering inside of me.

And for all there was going on between us that was a better answer than I had even hoped for. It may not have contained the promise of anything - but that hadn’t been my intention with telling her the truth either. I had just needed her to know. So badly. Get it off my chest. And now she knew. And she was still here. I knew perfectly well she needed space and time and probably more than anything for things to move in a more natural pace - heartbroken or not that was what most people needed to make sense of things like this.

“Today you’ve been bleeding enough to make up for at least the next two month, if you ask me,” she continued with a teasing tone referring to the fresh little cut on my hand, which I had completely forgotten about.

It wasn’t an ‘I love you’, but I hadn’t expected that at all either. Which was also the reason I hadn’t used those words. That would probably have been too much. But I had the feeling she knew perfectly well how crazy I was about her.

“Well, it was definitely worth it to get you out here,” I couldn’t hold back the beam which broke forth. She was still here that was all that mattered - the butterflies in my lower stomach seemed to agree completely.

God, I loved her so much.

 

[amber’s pov]

I still didn’t quite believe it in some weird sense, though I was pretty sure I felt exactly the same as him. It just seemed too unreal. I couldn’t wrap my mind around how a guy like him could fall for someone like me in such a short matter of time. But that was Harry; he was open hearted and slowly I started realizing just how extremely... emotional too, which surprised me.

And it didn’t make sense at all as I watched his most adoring smile spread on his most stunning face. His hair was incredibly messy from the practice, sweating, and the makeout session, but it looked so attractive still.

“Crazy,” I muttered under my breath and kissed him lightly again. Couldn't stop myself.

“Totally irresponsible,” he added with a chuckle against my neck kissing that sore spot as softly as a rose petal falling in the air.

“Completely insane,” the words passed my lips with barely any sound. Gosh his eyes were so green and beautiful; like fresh grass or the swaying tree tops of a hot summer day. Like a promise or a hope that would never really die. “But it’s okay,” I lifted my hand letting the tips of my fingers run up his jaw, grinning dizzily; “Jenny told me being sane is boring.”