the journal - h.s.

23

I hadn’t even noticed him sweeping it off the desk and my mouth opened in disbelief as I understood his intention. Seeking out even the slightest flicker of regret in his eyes, I watched him in wonder. But there was none. After his reaction earlier I couldn’t believe my own eyes. He was biting slightly down on his bottom lip and then his gaze nervously escaped mine to the floor, as if he had to apologize for wanting to give me this. As if he was thinking I found him crazy for offering me this unusual treasure, which didn’t contain value to anyone else than him - and most recently me.

Not bearing to see him that way - see him speculating over whether I found him insane or something - I carefully accepted the book from him with a nervous trying smile, which probably turned into a grimace. His gaze flew up at my movement and he watched how my slender fingers embraced the side, a glow starting in his eyes.

It was a quirky sight; his huge, strong, tanned hand inked with that cross tattoo and a inked sentence across the wrist, which I couldn’t make out - next to mine petite, paler and more feminin hand. How strange that I could possibly believe I could somehow keep him safe? He was way bigger and could most likely carry me all the way home over his shoulder if he wanted to.

Another image from the hurricane that was of my thoughts appeared. The image of how he giggling would catch me by my waist and throw me over his shoulder playfully, while I laughing would do everything to resist. That image flashed before my eyes. How I would be totally powerless and he would find it merely amusing. That he would be happy.

Then he let go off the journal along with a sigh of relief, curiously I once again searched his eyes for an explanation. Why would he give me this? I had with my own eyes witnessed how greatly he treasured this innocent item. How he had been looking so hopeless in the bus - how his eyes had been filled with anger seeing me with it.

“Are you sure?” My words were thick with disbelief and slight excitement. He sent me a crooked unexplainable smile, which lasted for the shortest amount of time - but relief had been clear. Hell it shun from him. He tried fighting that smile, “yes. Absolutely. Keep it safe, yeah?”

His eyes seeming almost grateful that I had accepted this - that I had accepted the highest valued thing of his, that he could give me. A giggle escaped my lips and I nodded, “absolutely.”

If this was the only way I could help him - I wouldn’t hesitate to take the chance. It was the least I could do in order to make that smile appear on his lips again.

And with that one promising word Harry’s face lit up in relief and joy, I promised myself and him to cherish this treasure with my life. I knew he understood my unspoken promise.

With a smile still playing on my lips I managed to snap out of his gaze lock, as Jenny’s voice was heard rumbling through the hall - what I could make out, that she was trying to was something like, “I told you cherry shots were not girly you wasted fuck! Jesus fucking Christ wake up already Malik!”

“I should probably…” Harry spoke still with that grin of relief perfectly carved to his beautiful face. He narrowed his eyes at the sound of his drunk friends. I felt like reaching out and somehow try to make his features stay that way till eternity. But I kept to myself, as I merely nodded and moved to let him pass.

I leaned against the doorframe and as he moved beside me our bodies were closer than ever. I held my breath and tried desperately to calm the butterflies, which were obviously and most inconveniently throwing a party in my stomach at the moment. It seemed as if electricity was running wildly between us, as he for a short second was only millimeters from me. I could look up and his face would be right there and so close. The scent of smoke, mint and his cologne washed in over me as a wave from having him this close. I kept my gaze on the floor head looking to the side, as I hoped he wouldn’t notice the blush creeping into my cheeks and up my bare exposed neck.

Then he was gone. I leaned up against the doorframe with my entire body, leaning my head back against the wood, as I for a moment closed my eyes. While exhaling inaudibly, I tried to control the emotions, which had been overwhelming. Just to reach out and give him a simple hug or some kind of brief touch - just to let him know I was there, that I saw, that I knew. But I had managed to keep myself in check, luckily.

I could hear Jenny instructing Harry how they could get Zayn off the couch or something, occasionally Zayn would make a grunting sleepy complaint.

Was this his world?

Quickly preparing to leave I carefully packed away the journal - making sure it was safely placed in my shoulder bag. My heart bubbled over with excitement at the sight of it being back in the mess along my other belongings. Yes, I was beyond confused as to why it was there again - but I couldn’t really think of that at this moment. Not in the middle of the night when he was in the next room trying to help a drunk friend off the couch. So instead I simply enjoyed the fact, that I wasn’t going to say goodbye to it - not tonight at least.

As I had zipped up my jacket and pulled on the grey beanie, Harry appeared in the entré as he supported a dead drunk Zayn. Harry had Zayn’s arm around his neck and steadied the black haired boy with a hand on his wait. It didn’t seem to bother him much, as his eyes reached mine. Another apologizing smile crossed his lips, just as Zayn started mumbling, “sooo what do yostyles thinking? I’m should I ask to her perrie marry? I love her man.”

“Maybe you should reconsider that thought in the morning mate,” Harry stated to the mumbling Zayn with a serious yet gentle and slightly amused tone. I couldn’t help showing my agreement with a nod.

“I love her!” Zayn stated again and started giggling, which made Harry shake his head lightly with a beam as he continued through the hall.

“Aw holy crap dudes. Zaynie what I’m what even lol dibs on… brides-fucking-maid!” Jenny screamed from behind Harry and Zayn, I imagined she was somehow steading Zayn from behind - or at least trying to. Probably just making it even more difficult for Harry.

“Could you grab his coat Amber? It’s the leather one with the denim sleeves and… Jenny do you know if he brought anything else?”

I nodded and quickly located the very jacket. I was slightly startled over his almost leader like role in this situation. He didn’t seemed stressed out at all, merely as if it didn’t bother him the slightest to help out a friend. With the jacket in my grasp, I managed to find the scarf Jenny had tried to describe even though her description had been far from clear. Mostly she had been swearing, commenting fashion trends and contradicted herself in the process.

“Okay great - let’s get him down to the street. I think Perrie is already here,” Harry stated and hitched up in Zayn, who moved a little and started smiling at the mentioning of the name Perrie.

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a/n: 

okay a few things - firstly - I've added just a tiny bit more talking to last part of chapter 21 ^^ thanks for the constructive comments about this getting a little too .. ehm detailed? hah sorry sometimes I just get lost in the descriptions. gonna try to balance it! ^^ But still - I really wanted their first meeting to be less verbal and more like ... focus on their reactions. Anyhow - I'm probably gonna update again tonight guys! Probably when this chapt. hits 150 votes or something... 

wakaaa wakaa you guys are so freaking cute?! I can't even. you all deserve to meet harry like. seriously. Loads of love! xx