the journal - h.s.

09

Out of nowhere his head suddenly snapped up breaking the enchanting photo worthy moment, causing me to gasp silently, as his enthralling yet tender eyes locked with my grey-green ones. For a second that seemed to last an eternity, as his eyes were sealed with mine, one thought played over and over in my mind. I had never seen a more captivating yet lonesome person in my entire life.

I had no idea why I had not immediately escaped his gaze or horrified by his simplicity hurried out of the awaiting open bus door from which icy air was sneaking in. All I knew was; I was dead tired and he was gorgeous.

And then the moment had passed, as I with one last blink turned my head from the boy with the secretive green eyes and stepped out of the bus.



The rain splattered around me and with every step I took my black toms became only more soaked. I heard the faint sound of the bus door closing after me, and without it making any sense I turned around - my heart suddenly feeling heavier, as I watched the moving light filled bus making its way through the darkness. It stood in great contrast to its surroundings, with the fluorescent light almost being too white - a cold, uncomfortable kind of white.



Even the street light hanging high over the middle of the street was more welcoming, than the lighting I had abandoned that guy in.



I wasn't sure how long I stood there watching the bus disappear, but when I finally locked myself into my small humble apartment in the red brick building, my hair was drenched with the polluted city raindrops and my toms were even darker than they used to be -- so were my ankle socks unfortunately.

I should probably start wearing my winter boots - but I had stubbornly not wished to accept the ending of summer. Not just yet. And these toms were my definition of this year's summer - I sighed and smiled at the countless memories from the late summer nights. Wearing light summer dresses, barbecuing on the roof terrace, walks in the park and having to eat your ice cream as soon as you got it in your hand before it melted into the saddest puddle of all puddles. Sitting outside the café till early morning with my other co-workers having a smoke and watching the sun rise over the rooftops of Chicago with a freshly brewed cup of coffee.



That was why I liked how the guy hadn't buttoned up his jacket - but left it open to reveal that white t-shirt. Even though it had been freezing.



My mind was blurry and slow, as I struggled to keep balance, while I (with my eyes closed) shoved off the toms and threw the jacket on the floor. In the try of unbuttoning my jeans, as I started stumbling towards my bed in my two room apartment, I let out an up giving groan. Still with my eyes tightly closed I kicked off the tight jeans enjoying the feeling so much I sighed relieved. Sneaking one eye open I hit the light switch to the bathroom and grabbed my toothbrush.



Where had he been going? And where had he been before catching the bus? Maybe he had been a run-a-way model. I smiled at my stupid word play. God I was tired.



Standing with my eyes tightly closed, while brushing my teeth I tried remembering what my plan for tomorrow was. Somehow that turned out nearly impossible, as I couldn't focus at all. My mind floating with the image of that guy.

With my bed awaiting me welcomingly - removing my light make up simply had to wait till tomorrow. I stopped in the middle of the dark room - eyes still closed, a frown on my face as I tried concentrating before falling asleep on the spot. I managed to recall I didn't have anything till 2 in the afternoon, as I finally managed to get the bra unhooked. Great.



Not that I remembered how - but I somehow managed getting to my bed - which consisted of a simple madras on the wooden floor by the window with a grey duvet and matching pillow - and fell asleep probably on my way there. My mind was flickering the image of a green pair of emerald eyes and the words; this is to have succeeded, the last couple of seconds before I was out.



As usual the sunbeams through the window woke me. Carefully warming my naked skin in the decently heated apartment. Thank God it wasn't as cold as Marc's. In his slightly bigger one you could practically leave your discount wine bottle out of the fridge all day and it would stay cold - of course only in the mercilessly cold months of the year.



Laying there feeling the intense warmth on my back, while a couple of adventuress city pigeons would be chatting somewhere outside my window. That was my favorite moment of the day. You could lay perfectly still and you would feel perfectly happy. Sometimes my downstairs neighbor would play one of the most comfortable records I had ever had the pleasure of listening to. The smooth music with the perfect raspy voice softly singing words I couldn't all make out, would travel up to me and complete the perfect morning.

Honestly I had never really found out who the artist was. But that was okay actually, I didn't have to know. I would prefer just listen to this unknown yet beautiful music like this.

Enjoying this exact moment of my day to its fullest, while slowly waking up I remembered finding the journal yesterday in the café - and encountering that guy with the secretive eyes. Recalling the events now I hardly could believe he had been real, as the memories were dulled by the tiredness I had felt at that time. I couldn't even make out his features in the memories completely, instead they remained slightly blurred. But I remembered the green color of his eyes. How I had wanted to take a picture of his wicked perfection and how out of place he had seemed in that bus, but somehow he had also seemed to fit right in.

I smiled at the thought shaking my head into the duvet, which was tangled around my body. I loved those small moments in life. Like the one in the bus - they seemed so insignificant, but yet they eventually made up life. All those small moments. Happy as sad. Memorable as unnoteworthy. Breathtaking as repulsive. They all made up life in the end.



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