the journal - h.s.

92

“How the - it smells delicious?” I heard Jenny exclaim loudly before her head popped up in the doorway to the kitchen with the most surprised face I had ever seen her wear. I grinned at her while my heart kept acting so foolishly and the adrenaline rushed around in my body.

“Oh my god this is a priceless sight; Harry Styles cooking in the kitchen - cooking an actual fucking meal. I need a picture of this,” she was laughing as she disappeared just as quickly, while I lifted the lid of the stew still chuckling softly. I had only just now remembered it would probably be a good idea to taste whether is was something Louis and I could actually serve without killing anybody.

“Shit. Fuck, it’s hot!” I swore at myself as I from nervousness hadn’t given it a single rational thought that the content of the pot just maybe - just might be as fucking warm as all the burning souls in the deepest part of hell.

I turned on the tap water immediately feeling super annoyed with myself over my stupidity and bend in to fill my mouth with icy cold water. I didn’t even notice how she had been standing quietly in the doorway and watched my pathetic attempt at cooking, or how her hand had lightly covered her mouth to hide the lovely smile.

“I thought you couldn’t cook?” Her voice was closer than I had expected as I felt her hand brush up over my back, which almost made me knock my head into the tap. I wiped my mouth with my hand and immediately found her beautiful eyes. It was like I could finally breathe properly again as I quickly let me gaze flickered over her to see everything was in order; everything from the way her lips were formed to the color of her cheeks and her perfectly imperfect hair. Just like it had been this morning.

With a sigh of exhaustive relief I pulled her into my embrace finally feeling whole again.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled and I could hear in the tone of her voice that she truly was. The thing was I shouldn’t have a reason to freak out over whether or not she was okay. I shouldn’t have a reason to be scared that something had happened to her.

“You shouldn’t be,” I told her softly and cupped her slightly colder face. Her lips parted to argue with me but I silenced her with a kiss. I could feel how her cheeks started getting warmer from the touch of my hands; I wondered if she felt the same kind of way. Like there wasn’t any world outside the two of us. The nervousness was almost non existent when she was around to keep me together.  

I could feel her smile carefully while our lips created a tiny miracle that could save me from even the darkest parts of the world. No worries or troubles could reach us here; she was mine and I was hers and nothing could be more right than this. We were totally lost together and I was so endlessly happy for just being like this with her. This was what I wanted to fight for; the sound of that giggle escaping her lips as I playfully kissed the tip of her nose or the way her hands covered mine and she would tilt her head and love the feeling of me holding her. Or the way she would almost as if just to say it for herself whisper ‘I love you’. She was like colors and light and a sun kissing you warm. This right here was the reason I would go and sort everything out on Thursday.

I guessed she could feel the bandage on my hand, because she looked suspiciously up at me before with gentleness taking my hand forth so she could see it for herself. Her delicate fingers caressed my hand carefully letting her fingertips run over the few scribbled notes in the palm of my hand before she turned it over and made sure she didn’t touch the wounded area.

She didn’t say anything just looked up at me with her eyes so beautiful I couldn’t get a word past my lips.

“You know what I’m actually starvin-” Louis started before he stopped abruptly in the door as he saw us stand here, “sorry. You guys were having a moment. I’ll just -”