Amnesia // Luke Hemmings

Chapter 14

*Katrina's P.O.V.*

I feel paralyzed. I honestly cannot move right now. I think it's because of shock. Shock of what? Oh yeah, Luke kissed me. What am I supposed to do? Do I tell Calum? I know he just said to not hide this from Calum, but I don't know how I'm supposed tell him! He'll probably think I'm a slut and break up with me, and I don't know if I think that's good or not.

As much as I want to be with Luke, I can't. It feels like something in my conscience is telling me not to. If I had knew all this would happen, I wouldn't have gone out with Calum, as much as I hate to say that. One thing I am grateful for is that I don't go to school with them, because we all know that would be terrible. If we class together, it would just filled with awkward tension. Plus, I don't want to make friends, I've got like one and that's all I need.

I struggle to get up, my knees still feel weak. I don't bother to put on my heels, that would cause a bigger problem. I walk around, looking for Calum. I catch him by a group and I approach them

"Uh, Calum can we talk?" I extend my arm for him to grab.

"Sure, about?" He replies, grabbing my hand.

"We'll talk more once we reach a more quieter place." I say, pulling him back into the room I was in. I think he's a bit drunk, I could tell because he was stumbling as he was walking to the room. Maybe if he's drunk right now, I'd get a more honest reaction. I don't want tell him, but I have to.

As we enter the room, we both fake a seat on the bed. I shift my gaze down onto my feet and I sigh. "Calum, I'm going to tell you something and you're going to tell me what you honestly think, okay?"

"Okay." He said in response to my question.

"Please don't be angered but, Luke and I sort of kissed." I say, still staring down at my feet. I'm scared to even look up because I don't know what to expect. Will he be hurt? Will he care? I move my head slightly up to get a view of him and his hands are covering his face and he lets out a huge sigh.

"Well Katrina, I don't know how I feel. I know how you feel about him, I can tell. Now, I know you did say Luke when we had dinner. I just want you to be happy." He shrugs.

I feel tears coming and out and he comes closer and says, "Hey, don't cry." I turn my head down, he can't see me like this. I hate showing my emotions.

"Katrina. Look at me now." He says as he lifts up my head "You know we had something. Had. I know you really like Luke, and I want you to be happy. I've had my doubts, and now I know we should break up. Don't take this the wrong way though. Personally, I wouldn't want to break up. But, I want you to be happy. So if being with Luke makes you happy, then be with him. I shouldn't be the one to keep you away from your happiness."

"Calum," I rub my eyes, trying to get rid of the tears streaming down my face "Don't think I never liked you, or I'm a slut or anything. I'm just very confused. I hope this doesn't mess with your friendship with Luke or anything. I don't want to be the one that breaks your band apart."

"Katrina, you'd never do that." He embraces me into a hug "Just go be happy." He forces a smile, and I smile back at him.

"So this is it." I stare back down at my feet.

"Yeah," he mumbles.

"Thank you for being the best first boyfriend I could ever had." I say.

"First? I'm not too sure about that." He says, what is he talking about? I've only ever dated him.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"You'll know one day." He says as he gets up and walks out. He turns his head around and says, "Friends?"

I reply with a smile on my face, "Friends."

The door shuts and I feel more relaxed. There is one part of me that feels terrible because of my break up with Calum, but I'll manage to get over it. This is honestly so much to take in. I'm grateful he didn't flip on me and started yelling me. I wouldn't have known how to react in that situation, I probably would have blamed it all on myself.

What do I tell Luke now? Do I just go up to him and say "Hey Luke! I just broke up with Calum, let's go out?" of course not. I'm not even sure if he wants to date me. But if he does, I don't want to get with him right now. Not that I don't want to, I just don't want to rush things. I still have to wait a bit because of my recent break up. I'm not going to be one of those girls who hop from guy to guy after they've broken up with their boyfriend.

I hear a knock on the door, I hope it's not Calum. I'm not ready to face him again. "Uh, come in." I say as Luke walks in. Relief washes all over my face.

"Hi again." He says with an awkward half smile.

"Hi." I say, my voice is still a bit shaky from the crying I did earlier.

"So have you talked to Calum yet or..." He scratches the back of his neck. I've noticed he has a tendency to this a lot.

"Yeah about that," I pause "We need to talk."

"Okay, I'm all ears." He says as he sits down next to me on the bed like Calum did.

"Well, I told Calum what happened. We broke things off because he knew about my feelings towards you and-" I'm cut off by Luke.

"You have feelings towards me?" He asks.

"Well yes. I have fallen a bit head over heels for you," I feel my cheeks heating up "I kind of like you." I shrug.

"That's great!" He hugs me "You know why?"

"Why?" I reply, pretending to not be aware of what he's going to say.

"Because I like you too." He tightens the hug.

"Uh so," I break off the hug and we return to our regular postures "Now that we've got that establish, I need to tell you that I don't want to date you like right now."

"Wait, but I thought you liked me?" He said, a bit saddened.

"No, no. That's the what I meant. I mean like I don't want to rush things. I'm still not fully aware of all my feelings and I don't just want to jump to dating you after I just broke up with Calum. Do you understand? Are you able to wait for me to ready?" I stare into his eyes.

"I do," he pauses "And I will. You know why?"

This time I'm not sure what he's going to say and I say, "Why?"

"Because you're worth the wait and I've waited for a year now."