Amnesia // Luke Hemmings

Chapter 8

tw: mention of self harm

*Calum's P.O.V.*

I glance over again to Luke's drawing, what the fuck is he drawing? For the last few minutes, I've been trying to figure out what he's drawing. God, this boy is so damn weird. Not like in a bad way though, he's still one of my best friends in the world. I mean a lot of my friends ship him and I. Our ship name is Cake, but I'm not gay. You can obviously tell that because I'm dating one of the most beautiful girls in the whole wide world. Plus, I've seen Luke basically naked and I didn't feel aroused or anything.

Speaking of my amazing girlfriend, she's absolutely amazing. Her innocence is probably one of my most favorite things about her. The fact that I'm her first everything make my heart smile. Whenever I text her, I feel like I'm on another planet, and everything else seems to disappear. It's corny, but I don't care. I really, really like her. But, I wouldn't call it love because we've only been dating for a day and I don't want to rush things. I'm her first boyfriend, I want to make it special.

I look down at my drawing, how did I get so lucky? There's literally no flaws on her. But there's something about her, is it bad or good? There must be a catch. Or can there just be a girl who is beautiful without anything going wrong? What if she's going to cheat on me soon on like another guy? Worse, it's one of my best friends like Luke? I glance over to him and laugh, that won't happen. She's a nice and honest person, she probably wouldn't even hurt a fly.

I haven't had many girlfriends, but I'm sure Katrina is special.

*Luke's P.O.V.*

I keep wondering who I'm drawing, why am I even drawing?

Don't lie to yourself Luke, you know who it is.

All I'm drawing is a girl who looks so beautiful, but she doesn't have a face. Why haven't I drawn her face? To be honest, I'm scared I might draw Katrina. I wish her and Calum never met, no matter how selfish that sounds of me. I don't want her to be with one of my best mates when I can't be with her. It's so hard not being able to look at her the way I used to. I'm never going to say anything about it either, because I am scared.

Scared of what? Scared of everything going downhill. I need to stop thinking, I'm probably going to over think one day and end up dying. I need a friend to talk to. I know I have the lads, but they don't understand and probably won't understand. They'll probably think I'm mentally insane. Maybe I can become friends with Michael's girlfriend. She seems to know Katrina a bit. That sounds like a good idea, hopefully Michael doesn't get the wrong idea though.

The bell rings and I gather all my things together and head off to find Michael's friend. Is it bad I don't remember her name, yet I want to become friends with her? Probably. I finally find her after I see her next to Michael.

"Hi Michael, hi Michael's girlfriend." I say waving.

"Hey Lukey." Michael says as he embraces a bro hug.

"Uhm Michael, may I talk to your girlfriend? Don't worry, I won't steal her from you, I doubt I can anyways. I just need some lady advice from an actual lady." I say, gesturing to her.

"Are you saying my advice is isn't helpful?" He says acting shocked.

"C'mon Michael's girlfriend." I pull her to the side.

"What do you need help with?" She smiles politely.

"Well, I can't really explain this to you in less than a minute, so can I get your number so we can talk? I really need a girl that I can get advice from. Sort of like a girl best friend? I don't know if this is weird or not." I awkwardly laugh.

She scribbles on a small piece of paper she took out of her backpack and hands it to me, "Here." she smiles.

"Thank you so much, now go off with your future husband!" I wink at her.

She immediately blushes as she heads back to Michael, who then proceeds to give her a kiss on the cheek. They make such a cute couple. They remind me of Katrina and I, y'know before all the crazy shit happened. But the past is the past, and everyone knows, you can't change the past.

Hopefully I'll find a girl who loves me, and I'll love her too. Maybe I can start off fresh. I think that's a good idea. But who could it be? I just want a girl who isn't like those mean girls that would be in the typical high school clique. Someone who's cute, maybe even a bit nerdy. All she has to do is love me for me, the crazy fucked up person I am. Maybe she'll be the same as me, who knows?

She can be my reason to live and stay hopeful. I look down at my wrist and see the bracelets that cover my old scars.

Maybe, just maybe.

I then remember that school has ended, and I didn't even realize. Well, Art was the last class. How didn't I remember. I hardly even remember my own schedule. Is that bad? I think it's Chemistry, English, Band, Geometry, then Art. I'm pretty sure that's my schedule. I just love how much I think about all the littlest things. Sometimes it's okay, but other times, it sucks.

Wait, if it's after school- I glance down at my phone and remember that I had to text Katrina once school ended.

"Shit." I mumbled, as I typed a short message saying hello to her.

I don't get a message back instantly, I don't blame her, that'd be a bit creepy. Well, not to me. I look up from my phone and notice no one's here.

Well of course you idiot, school ended half an hour ago. Get your stupid ass home.

Well the voices are back. Will they ever stop? Or can they even be stopped? Maybe I need someone to help my fight them before something bad happens because of them. I doubt anything really serious will happen. I just need hope.

The only person that ever gave me hope was Katrina.