Nyla
Adjusting the bag on my shoulder and sipping my caramel frappuccino from Starbucks I had just entered the hospital doors. I've been here everyday, Skylar has been doing so well. He hasn't open his eyes yet but I have faith he will soon.
I walked pass the front desk making my way towards the elevator. For some reason I feel happy today, I haven't felt this good in a very long time. But for some reason I feel like my happiness won't last long.
I had just entered Skylar's room, the nurse was checking his vital signs and dressing his wound which has been healing so well. Its only been a week but it seems longer, I wanna see my baby smile and hear his little laugh again.
Once the nurse finished what she had been doing she assured me that he's doing even better than yesterday. I thanked her before walking over to his bedside kissing his cheek and running my hands through his hair.
I sit here everyday for several hours, if I stay longer I begin to lose my sanity. Its hard having to sit in a room with your child while they 'sleep' getting your hopes up that today would be the day they woke up.
Opening my laptop I began searching for a place to stay in Pennsylvania, I'm going back home as soon as Sky gets better. I still haven't been to the diner to thank Amy for the money. I'll do that the minute I leave here, I'm still curious as to why she wanted to help..
So far I found a house that I like, its a townhouse with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. I've already called to set up an appointment to view the house. Its just gonna be hard to actually make time to see it, Lyric offered to sit with Skylar while I go. I would agree but I'm afraid he's gonna wake up and I won't be there.
The sun had began to set, it was time for me to go. I felt like I wanted to cry I hate leaving him here. The nurses check on him often, they also call me if anything changes.
Kissing my baby once more I left the room, making my way towards the elevator. Once the doors closed my phone vibrated, I started to ignore it.
From: Julian
Can you meet me at my house? We need to talk.
I wrote back a simple sure, our son or should I say my son has been in the hospital a week and not once has he shown up. Deadbeat or not at least have a heart, pray for me, do something..
I tried to start my car, but after several attempts it wouldn't turn on. Which can only mean one thing.. Santana shut the engine off, he can be such an ass.
To:Julian
Car won't start, I'm stuck at the hospital.
From: Julian
I'm on my way..
Getting out of the car I began to take everything out, Skylar's car seat, and a few of his toys were the only thing in there besides his bag and my purse. I learned against the car getting the urge to set this bitch on fire.
Then it hit me, I can send this car to the chop shop, ha, jokes on Santana's dusty ass if he thinks just for a second, he's gonna walk away with this car.
From the year I've been living here I know a guy named Skip who has a chop shop. He came up to me one day trying to convince me to sell him my 2014 Cadillac ATS Luxary Sedan. Santana paid a good amount of money for this car, he's gonna be pissed once he finds out.. Karma is a bitch!
I called Skip to inform him that the car was all his. Just as I hung up Julian had walked up to me, grabbing my stuff.
"Hey Nyla, how's he doing?"
"You'd know if you showed up"
"I've been busy with work, I tried to make it here .. I'm sorry"
"Don't apologize to me, I'm not the one you should be apologizing to"
I got into the car not saying anything else. The ride back to his house seemed so long, it had gotten later which meant I'd have to stop by the diner another day. By the time we actually got to his house I was no longer interested in talking to Julian.
I got out, taking his keys out of the cup holder. Walking straight up to his door, unlocking it before going right in. Yes I did just go in his house and leave him outside.
It was really nice inside. It still looked the same from when I decorated a few years ago. Only a few things were different, he still had pictures of the both of us. I looked at the picture we had taken by the lake in his mom's backyard.
"I miss our relationship.."
I couldn't say anything back because I did too, our relationship was great. Until I got pregnant and he started acting different. Those are the reasons I scold myself for missing him.
"That's nice, now why am I here?"
"I want to apologize for not being there for you.. and Skylar"
"Oh, so now your apologizing. Why is that?"
"Because I fucking love you Nyla! I was stupid to let you walk away with my son. I've missed you and thought about my child everyday. I let my selfishness get in the way of something beautiful.. I wasn't ready to be a father, I said some stuff that I shouldn't have said and I'm sorry. I can't take back the things I did or said but I can prove to you that I'm being sincere.. during this past week, hearing about my child almost losing his life changed me. I felt guilty for not being there, I would have never forgiven myself if he hadn't of made it. I love that little boy and I have every since you came here with him. I want to be in his life, I'm ready to be a father.."
I clapped my hands.. laughing at his oscar performance. Words don't mean shit to me, he has to prove it in order for me to believe it.
"Julian you should be ashamed of yourself. Your 31 years old and you weren't ready.. I know not everyone is ready when it comes to parenthood but, you knew better. You knew damn well I didn't have anyone, you claim you loved me and you wanted to marry me.. bullshit. You don't throw the person you love out because they tell you the words your selfish ass didn't wanna hear I'm pregnant. It takes two, and if you were gonna be mad at anyone it should have been yourself. Who was the one saying oh don't worry, we don't need condoms, you won't get pregnant. And my dumb ass fell for the shit.."
He grabbed my face kissing me with the same passion and love we once shared for one another. But for some reason I didn't feel the same connection after this kiss.. I've moved on, the only thing Julian and I will be is parents to our child.
