sauve-moi || Brallon

chapter seventeen ||

Dallon's POV//

tw// self degrading thoughts & some self harm

I hated being alone. Whenever I'm alone it's like everything that I've been working for just disappears. I tried to push away the negative ideas from my brain but they just kept flooding in.

'What if he's just going out so he doesn't have to be with me?'

'Does he even love me?'

'Is it because of my weight?'

I shook my head, trying to ignore it but I couldn't help it. I walked over to the bathroom, biting my lip as I thought about my options. I'm just a burden to Brendon. He thinks I'm better but I've just been getting better and controlling myself. But now I'm failing at that too. I turned on the light to the bathroom the. crouched down to the cabinet under the sink.

I looked around for anything sharp. I needed another fix. I had been almost two months clean but that was killing me. I was relapsing. I eventually found a box of Brendon's razors and removed the blade from it. I examined it and thought about where I should place it.

I knew that it couldn't be in the open because I just couldn't be sent back to the recovery center. I picked up the blade again and lifted up my shirt to reveal my lower stomach. I felt the blade glide against my skin as the blood slowly fell. I added more and more cuts because at this point I couldn't stop.

I froze, around ten minutes after I started, as I heard the door unlocking downstairs. I quickly wrapped an ace bandage around my stomach and attempted to cover myself with my shirt. I threw the used blades in the trash can and tried to pull myself together.

"Dallon?" I heard Kenny call from the living room.

"Yeah, I'm here." I choked out, trying to prevent him from knowing that I was crying.

I used the sleeve of my shirt to wipe my tears them walked over to meet Kenny. He gave me a smile when he saw me and I attempted to give one back. He walked over to me and gave me a bit if an awkward side hug.

"Hey Kenny," I began. "So, how come you wanted to come over?"

"Brendon has the best beer." He laughed.

"Do you know what he's doing?"

"No.. um.. he just said he was going out." He said, obviously lying.

"Whatever, Kenny." I laughed.

Brendon's POV//

I walked into the jewelry store, smiling at my idea. I was just thinking about how cute Dallon would look in a suit with his hair all done. I snapped out of my daydream and walked up to the counter to see a woman with short brown hair that went to a little above her shoulders.

"Hi! What can I help you with today?" She asked with a large smile.

"I'm looking for an engagement ring," I began.

"Alright well what type of girl are you buying for?" she said, pulling out a few observation cases of rings.

"He is a pretty shy guy but is really talented." I said, emphasizing that he was indeed a he.

"Oh!" she said excitedly, "Well in that case..."

She pulled out another few sets of rings but they all looked to basic. Everything was dull and plain. I knew I wanted to get him a silver ring but everything looked boring. Even thought Dallon probably wouldn't mind a plain ring, I wanted to give him somethings special.