I love you is a statement like no other. It doesn't mean the same as the simple love you or luv you that you would receive in text lingo, it was a strong statement. Something that people normally said and didn't realize the meaning behind it. Usually said but without the real feeling behind it. Love was a word that was brushed off simply by too many people. It was the real deal, though. That was something people needed to learn.
It can be scary, for someone like Jess who has extreme trust issues. Nick always said I love you, but he obviously never meant it really. Jess did mean it when she said it. She really thought she was in love with him. And sometimes love can blind you. It makes you do stupid things and make stupid decisions. But so can being hurt. When Jack told Jess that Alex loved her, she instantly told him not to say that because she knew he was using it in vain. Alex probably was too, but what if he wasn't? She couldn't be sure. Her self doubt and all her other issues made her question this, and be scared of the not-so-simple statement. Then she tried to come back down to Earth. Thinking about the pros and how Alex has done what he's done for her. Like beat up Kade (it was a good cause), and help her kill Nick. She tried to tell herself that if Alex didn't truly love her, he wouldn't have done that.
After that conclusion, she posed the question of; Did she love him back? She wanted to be sure of it, or maybe really she was just overthinking all of it. Either way, this was the route she was taking and there was no going back now. Her relationship with Alex was like no other, but she'd really only ever had two relationships before him. One that didn't really mean anything and she can hardly remember anyways- the boy moved away- and Nick. When she thought of Alex, she thought of home. Even her own house wasn't home. She only truly felt safe when she was with Alex. There was no other person who understood her like he did. No other who treated her like she deserved, even if she didn't think she deserved him. He was so good to her. She felt like she understood him too. That maybe she made him feel safe too. He gave her a safe place from all those nightmares, and maybe she did the same for him.
She was brought out of her thoughts as she heard her phone buzz. She sat the book she wasn't even really reading down on her desk and checked her phone. It was Friday night and she was at home, studying. It had been a couple of weeks since Winter break ended, so school was in full swing again. Jess only really did yoga in the evenings and after showered. So, she spent most her free time studying. It was a shame she hardly had the pleasure to practice. She just couldn't find time for it anymore, saw it as something that wasn't that important. If she could really get payed for being in a marching band like football players or something, she would do that for the rest of her life. She wasn't that good at drum set, not like Rian. She played it for concert band when Rian didn't want to play the part of he didn't have that class, and in jazz band when he quit for his actual band (Which was coming up real soon and she was pretty excited to play music again.) Unfortunately, though, she liked playing marching snare best and she just finished her last season of marching band, which meant she was never doing that again. Unless she played at UM.. If she got in.
A: Hey, what are you doing?
J: Studying.
A: I thought we were meeting at our spot? You said you had plans or something?
J: Oh, shit, yeah. I'm sorry, Alex. I'll be there in ten.
A: Okay, be careful.
J: Will do.
She jumped up after safely securing her spot in her book and pulled on something else much warmer. She grabbed a band hoodie and slipped it on, along with a pair of leggings. It was already beginning to feel much warmer outside, which Jess was thankful for. She hated Winter, but loved Summer. She just loved being able to feel the hot sun on her skin. She rushed out her house and drove to their spot. Then she locked her car and got into Alex's.
