Break Your Little Heart// A Thomas Fanfiction

Chapter 18

Thomas and I had been sitting in his car for the last hour, listening to music on the side of the road. We were in the back seat, my head on his lap and him playing with my hair. Limited words were spoken, only the occasional,

“Are you okay?”

And

“No”

So we kept sitting there, until one of us felt better. I was upset because the image of my broken-hearted father ran through my brain; and Thomas because he had visited his mother. But I could tell that the real reason we weren’t okay was because we had bared our souls to each other. And I don’t think either of us was ready to do that. I still didn’t really trust him, but maybe what had just happened made him trust me, because he thought I trusted him. And I did, because I was heartbroken and devastated and he was the only one that I had thought to call. Because I trusted him, the first time I had trusted a boy since James.

I was relieved, I was terrified. I had never felt so many contradicting emotions as I did when I thought of Thomas.

“What are you thinking about?” Thomas asked, brushing my bangs with his fingertips.

“Trusting,” I replied honestly playing with the zipper on my jacket.

“Who?”

“Everyone,”

“Your mother?” He asked, trying to get into specifics.

“You,” I muttered quietly. “I’ll never trust my mother again, but I’m questioning maybe I could put faith into you.”

“If it helps, I trust you.” He mumbled before pressing his lips to my forehead.

“It does,” I said, closing my eyes. But the thing is; he shouldn’t trust me. I’m manipulating his heart for money and I can’t back out now unless I want half of the school population to hate me.

“What’s the problem?” He said quietly.

I opened my mouth, and then closed it. I almost told him, I wanted to tell him, but I couldn’t get myself to do it.

“I’m scared,” I opened my eyes to meet his silky brown ones.

“Of me?”

“Of everyone, now more than ever.”

“I don’t understand,”

“Of course you don’t.” I shook my head and looked away.

“Help me to understand Scarlett,” Thomas said.

“Summer before school, something happened.” I spoke carefully as I broke down the walls around me.

“It’s okay,” he said, stroking my hair.

“It’s so stupid,” I said, tears lining my eyes. How many times did I have to cry tonight?

“Hush,” Thomas said, cupping my cheek. “Nothing is stupid, this is a safe space.”

It was my safe space, or at least it had become that after my house became tainted with sex stains and betrayal. I was ready to bare my soul to Thomas; he had become my home when I had lost it.

“I dated this guy… I was convinced I loved him, or at least was falling in love with him. Him and my best friend were the only people I’d ever trusted outside of my family. And one night, I walked in on them… Having sex. And I knew it was because I wouldn’t put out and she could.

“It was terrible Thomas, my heart was ripped from the seams and I still am recuperating. He was my first love, and I can never get that back.” I looked up at him and he frowned. “You wanted to know; and now you do.”