Break Your Little Heart// A Thomas Fanfiction

Chapter 27

That’s when I finally threw up; all of tonight’s events disgusted me so much it made me physically sick. I was throwing up in the master bedroom’s bathroom sink. I ran away from Thomas and Clarissa as they detached themselves and to my relief, people followed Joey’s rules of staying out of his parents’ bedroom. But not me, no, I had to throw up. And I was going to try and make is as discreet as possible.

I couldn’t believe Thomas for just getting over me so quickly, and using Clarissa to do it nonetheless. While I was sitting on the front porch, sobbing, Thomas was sticking his tongue down Clarissa’s throat. I was so angry at him I could have screamed. I sat down on the cold tile flooring of the secluded bathroom. I pressed the back of my head on the wall and my arm was pressed against the cold toilet. I couldn’t bring myself to flush it, I was so exhausted. Emotionally and physically, I thought I was going to pass out.

The alcohol no longer blurred my vision or thoughts, I was completely sobered up and completely heartbroken.

Thomas was someone I was willing to change for, and obviously he felt something too. He was so hurt and angry when he found out I was only with him for money, and that I was supposed to break his heart in the end. I closed my eyes and saw the hurt look in his eyes.

“And here I felt bad for leaving you by yourself because I didn’t want to take things too fast. When all along you were being paid to fuck and chuck me.”

He left me all alone in that bedroom because he was scared; he was worried we were taking things too fast. And I knew it wasn’t bullshit because when he said it, I knew he was telling the truth from the hurt look in his eyes.

He actually wanted to take things slow.

Mr. Heartbreaker Thomas Augusto, didn’t want to just sleep with me and leave it at that.

No, he wanted to actually start something with me. And I ruined all of it because I couldn’t tell people no, I couldn’t let people down, even though I let down the only person that I cared about at this moment. I felt so terrible and sick to my stomach. I threw up again.

If I wasn’t so angry with her, I would’ve pitied Clarissa. Thomas was just using her, like he used everyone. He was just going to sleep with her to get over whatever he had with me. I found myself thinking about how funny it would be at school on Monday, when Clarissa thought she had actually won Thomas, only to find him avoiding her, never giving her closure. And then she would have a real reason to pay me to break his heart.

But I wouldn’t break his heart.

No, not anymore. I was done with all of that, I would find a real job that doesn’t have to do with hurting people.

If I got anything out of this hell of a night, is realizing what I’ve done this whole time is wrong, and not worth it. Not worth the money, not worth the praise, not worth the sense of accomplishment of being able to hurt someone.

I pulled myself up from the cold tiles and looked at myself in the full body mirror.

I had never disliked the way I looked, I thought my body was nice enough, and I was pretty. But at that moment I would have thrown up if I had anything left inside of me.

“Samantha?” I heard a knock at the door and I recognized the voice.

“Go away Clarissa,” I said slowly.

“Samantha, let me in.” She said more sternly.

“I really don’t have to do anything you say.” I replied.

“What? Unless I pay you?” She snapped, and then I felt myself snap.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” I opened up the door, and faced her. She looked pitiful.

“I just came too…”

“What? Rub it in my face? Yay! You got Thomas!” I said sarcastically, clapping my hands and jumping up and down.

“I came to apologize,” she said finally.

“Enjoy your night with Thomas,” I said, pushing past her. “Trust me, he won’t talk to you the next day, or the next… Or the next.”

I walked away before I could hear what she had to say. I think I picked up on the words “fucking bitch”, so I could tell she was upset. Good. Let her be upset, the more the better.

I don’t know what she expected me to do when she came a knocking on the bathroom door, but I’m pretty sure the script she had written in her head was something I didn’t follow.

I walked through the house, ignoring the stares and the whispering. I realized, standing at the front doors, I didn’t have a drive home.

“Shit,” I mumbled, my eyes closed.

“Scarlett!” I heard a voice behind me. I turned around and saw James’ smiling face.

“Hi James,” I said slowly. Maybe if I play my cards right he would give me a drive home.

“Could we talk?” He asked, looking at me. It was obvious he was a little tipsy from the way he was swaying.

“Did you drive here?” I ask quickly. I’m not worried about designated driving at this point.

“Yes,” it sounded like “Yethhhh”.

“Could you drive me home? We can talk on the ride back.” I said, trying to bargain with him.

“That sounds great!” He said, a little overenthusiastically.

“Okay,” I said, he took my hand in his and lead me through the front door. I turned my head around quickly and saw Thomas staring at me; when I caught his eye he frowned as if he felt sorry for me.