Since you left

Rambling Emotions.

I remember falling for you.
The time when I cracked a joke and you actually laughed for once.
You no longer hide yourself from me.
You did shy away.
You slowly came out. It was interesting.
We barely texted.
Only because we saw each other almost everyday.
Texting seemed pointless unless it was well needed.
How we became close?
I still don't know, but I think it was the strong gut feeling I had.
To trust you.
To tell you.
My past.
A few hidden thoughts I had.
We became best friends.
We still didn't text as much.
Because being in person with you was so much better.
But when we did text, I could hear your voice, visualize your facial expressions.
Down to how you'd possibly fall back, or pretend you fainted.
Even your eye rolls.
The classic eye rolls.
Especially to my dumb comments.
It's funny.
To think that I fell for you before I even knew.
I didn't think that was possible.
I'm still trying to trace back how far my feelings go.
I guess they just run that deep.
It's stupid as well.
Knowing there was an opening.
But me being me, I walked away.
Who knows why.
But I did.
Now I'm burning.
Because I'm trying my damn hardest to cut the roots to these feelings.
I can't find the end.
It hurts.
Because you became my best friend.
Losing you really does hurt.
I guess this is why I stayed away.
Because losing my best friend hurts.
To have you as a lover would destroy me.
So I walking away was a good idea.
I rather live with sharp pain than to be left crumbled on the side.
I don't know.
What ever it is I'm feeling,
I hate it.
Because there's nothing I can do.