One Chance: a Ted Sweeran fanfic

Ch 34

References/Quotes used by other authors are not mine, they belong to the original authors. Also just as something extra, some songs to listen to while reading this chapter would be Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol, Fix You by Coldplay, I Won't Give Up by Jason Mraz, Young and beautiful by Lana Del Rey,  Fall by Ed Sheeran,  and especially Falling Slowly by Glen and Marketa If you listen to only one make it that one :) I got emotional guys

Anyway thank you for being so active! Continue to vote and give feedback please! Love all my readers <3

Ed's POV

I didn't want to close my eyes, or even blink for fear that this moment would vanish in between the black. Taylor's short haircut bobbed up and down as we strolled down the block, her step a little bouncier as she hummed to herself, and it was the best sight I could have imagined for this night.

"Ed, just look at this city, it is the most beautiful place I have ever seen!" Taylor exclaimed as she threw her head back laughing and spun around, drunk on some newfound happiness.

I couldn't help but laugh at her giddiness, and I couldn't keep my eyes off of the beautiful woman that was my wife.

She suddenly stopped as she noticed me staring, and her dazzling blue eyes enveloped me in a trance. In that moment I knew exactly what we were. Her crystal laugh was dizzying and I was captured in the euphoria of her love. She was Daisy, and I, Gatsby, would forever chase the green light of our love, no matter how slim this hope was. I would keep pursuing that hope, keep reaching out to that ever-evading light at the end of the dock, and pray that someday I would only be able to grasp it. If everything I have isn't enough, I will die trying to be the man Taylor truly needs in her life, and only then will I be happy.

"Ed isn't this just wonderful? It's like for the first time I can truly see, and I don't ever want it to go away," she giggled, and then almost swooned into my arms, her eyes never leaving the sky, ever seeking that distant maybe among the hosts of constellations.

I gently kissed her forehead, sucking in her scent as I did. I was intoxicated by her presence, and I couldn't imagine what I could ever had done to be able to spend every single day of the rest of my life with her.

"I love you," I breathed into her neck, kissing her slowly, and she playfully pushed me away.

"I love you too, but there are people Ed," she protested at this public display of affection, trying to seem stern but her shy smile betrayed her.

"Who cares about all these people when we're together?" I asked, my voice trembling at together. I still was having a hard time convincing myself that this wasn't all just an amazing dream that I would wake up from when the clock struck midnight.

We had wandered into Green Park now, a kind of romantic place to be at night, not too far from Buckingham palace in central London, and it seemed that even the stars were shining just for us in that moment. I couldn't help but notice all the little things about Taylor-the way she constantly was brushing her cute bangs out of her face, the tone of her laugh when she was really having a good time, the way she was constantly rolling her wedding ring around her finger as if possibly wondering if this was all real as well.

We decided to sit down and just soak up the sights and sounds of London's night life. All those glistening parties, all those drunken people seeking pleasure in all the wrong places. At one point in my life I had been one of the confused and misguided masses, until she came along. She showed me the real thing, and everything else was just empty promises: I was never going back again.

Suddenly though, her eyes saddened, as if remembering some stormy memory in the ocean of her thoughts.

"What's wrong baby?" I asked concerned, hating that she was feeling this way.

"It's just..." she paused as a single tear streamed down her face, then looking up at me with her piercing blue eyes continued, "Do you ever wonder about what it would be like if...if Molly-" Taylor suddenly choked on the name and broke into sobs.

I pulled her to my chest and desperately tried to comfort her, "Shh, it's okay Taylor. It wasn't your fault, nothing could have been done, and I know our daughter's looking over us right now, saying how proud she is and how much she loves her mommy," I whispered, praying I had said the right thing.

Somehow it seemingly worked as her heavy sobs simmered down to occasional sniffles. I held her tight to my body, every fiber of my being trembling on impact, and I slowly rubbed her head, wishing I could somehow take away this pain eating inside of her.

"Anyway, when we're ready, we can always try again, this doesn't mean that we can't have those ten kids you always wanted, and we'll still teach them how to dream these impossible dreams," I comforted.

"But Ed, you heard the doctors, they said it wasn't likely that I could ever get pregnant again after this one Ed. Do you know how worthless I feel? I can't even do the one thing that a woman should be able to do, what am I even good for?" she cried, a hint of desperation in her voice.

"Hey, you know well enough that you mean everything to me and millions of others, you know how I hate it when my amazing wife degrades herself."

"Yeah, well it'll take no small miracle for us to have kids on our own."

I couldn't help but laugh, which may have seemed insensitive but I didn't mean it that way. "Taylor, do you know how much we have been through? And look at us, we are still together after everything. That in itself is a miracle. We haven't given up on us, and we sure as hell aren't going to give up on little Sheerans. We just need to work through this pain and somehow continue on."

She looked at me with the eyes of someone who had given up hope a long time ago, and with her eyes welling up with tears she shakily replied, "but don't you see Ed, that's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."