One Chance: a Ted Sweeran fanfic

Ch 43

Important note: THIS IS NOT THE LAST CHAPTER! There will be one more epilogue type thing and then that will be it. Thank you to all who read and enjoyed and shared this with their friends! So sorry it took me forever to update I've just been really busy! Hope you enjoy.

Ed's POV

Black. That was my world as I struggled to push past the cruel veil separating me from what I knew was the world beyond. It was hard. I wanted to give up so bad, but a small voice in the back of my conscience was telling me there was a reason I couldn't give up, and this time I knew what that reason was.

That reason was standing ten feet tall before me as I fluttered my heavy eyelashes open, wearing a faded pair of sweatpants and a distressed wrinkled t-shirt, and was still the most beautiful woman I had ever had the privilege of laying eyes on.

"Taylor," I muttered happily, not realizing how weak my voice had sounded until her name was on my lips. "My angel."

She was clearly trying to hold back tears, but she should have known by now she could let her feelings out in front of me. I was about to tell her that when searing hot pain flashed up my upper back, and gasping I was forced to pump some more morphine into my bloodstream by squeezing the pump connecting the sweet fluid to my body.

I immediately was offered the cool relief of the liquid angel snuffing out the raging inferno emitting out of every pore of my body, but I could still notice Taylor's worried glance at the drug. She knew it was helping me but she wasn't stupid. Eventually I would get better...hopefully...and when I did she was probably worried I wouldn't be able to get over the addiction. But that was another worry for another day. Right now I had to worry why I felt no feeling in my lower back.

"Taylor, love?" I asked weakly, slurring my words as if intoxicated as I tried to form a coherent sentence.

"Yes Ed?" she asked concerned as she sat down on the bed next to me.

"What's wrong with me? I don't remember really, ah what is it?" a flare of pure terror flashed within her eyes and I realized what those words had meant a month ago. The terrible time when I had forgotten her and fallen in love with Cara. A few weeks later and I had literally fallen out of a window to avoid her, only proving that Karma was in fact a bitch. "Oh, God no Taylor, I love you and I will never forget you again, I promise, it's just, I can't really remember why I jumped out of the window."

Taylor did the one thing that surprised me the most: laughed. "Well that was one thing I never thought we'd have in a conversation." Even with the dark circles under her eyes she was still as luminous as ever.

"Well Cara turned out to be the whole mastermind-"

"I know, but I mean can you help me figure it out? Like why I was willing to die and be such an impulsive idiot? What would you have done if I hadn't made it?" And then the tears came.

All those regrets, all those fears of me being the screw up that I knew I was, all those nights spent drinking and getting wasted when the only thing I was really wasting was Taylor's love, and the initial excitement and thrilling fear of me having a child of my own, only to have it ripped away from me surfaced at once. And no matter what crazy shit the doctors had treated me with while I was passed out, I knew that nothing they gave me should have disabled the use of my lower body. All this was what the troubled waters of my eyes held.

Have you ever really thought about crying? Like how crazy it is that when humans are sad or angry or even happy water falls from your eyes. All or your hopes, dreams, and fears held within the tsunami tides of your eyes, and in that moment I had never felt so scared and powerless.