Kill Shadow (Accidentally Dead #1) [On Hiatus]

Thoughts

*Refusing doesn't mean defying, it simply means that I'm using my head.*
                                                ~~~~~~~~~

Mom.
     You know it.
      Yet you're trying to protect me.
But from what? Some innocent new-born ghost?
       You know that I know what you want me to know.
Confused?
       Guess what?
         For once, I'm ready.
   Ready to face whatever the consequences might be...
            Ready to face the truth.
UHHH!!! WHAT AM I THINKING?!
      Okay, calm down. Let's just tell it to mom, shall we?
I don't give a damn thought about that ghost. She can die for all I care.
NOOOOOO!
Wait, what?
     Mom, I love you.
But for once, I'm sorry.
No more killing.
     THERE I GO CRAZY AGAIN.
I'm analysing it.
Slowly...
Easily..
Yes...
Oh God! You know what, sometimes, it becomes too stressful to explain what's going on in your head when you can't even explain it to yourself.
Right now, I'm standing here, rooted, because I know one step can make me fall. I'm  trapped. Trapped between a strong mind and a fragile heart.
     I know I can get away with being silent,  but it will keep on gnawing at me, slowly... guiltily. If I tell you everything, an innocent life will be lost. That will kill me, deep, deep down. I'll be dead already.
      No matter which path I choose, it's one way or the other.
      You know it. I know it.
...
...
Okay. Decision taken.
Either way, I'll find myself stuck in a place where there are...
           Roses in the bed of thorns.
                                     Needles in the golden yarns...
Poetic?

It's just that, sometimes, my mind evades into the deepest of my thoughts and clutches onto the weakest, lonesomest ones, just to make me realise my true strength. To make me realise my true potential...which sometimes becomes too complicated for people to understand.

NOT YOUR FAULT THOUGH.
NOT MINE, EITHER.

Okay. Enough.
   Somehow, walking away feels perfect.
I know everything that's happened, but..
I'm not going to answer you.
        No.
     I guess you already know that...
 
  Probably that's the reason why you're sighing and giving me that sad smile.
  
NO MOM, PLEASE NO!
    
Probably why you're turning and walking away, your hair fluttering slightly, with every step you take towards the kitchen.
 
  OKAY.
  MOM...

Probably why you're visibly aching with pain right now, but you're not allowing an inch of it to touch me.

MOM...

Probably why you've allowed me to live my own choice once.

Thanks.

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  P. S.: Pls don't be a silent reader 🤐🔇...and vote and comment if you like this part. Keep enjoying and unravelling the mysteries as you wade through the story.☺ Pls ignore the grammatical or spell check errors that may have occurred due to typing mistakes. ;)

Random question of the day😶: Ever lived your heart out anytime? Would really like to know...🙄🙄🙄