The Worst Year Ever

Disappearance

Friday, July 6th, 2012

Disappearance

I am lying down in my bed, staring up at the ceiling, the events of yesterday still playing through my mind. I saw Skylar and she just seemed so real. She was really there. She saved me from jumping off that cliff and killing myself. I still couldn't believe it.

Mom has been an absolute wreck since yesterday and all week but I no longer feel the need to cry at all because I know that Skylar is still here. She's still on this earth, maybe in this house or in this room right now, just trying to decide what her unfinished business is and trying to make sense of her death.

I know I should be sad like Mom and everyone else right now, but I can't seem to stop smiling. It almost feels like Skylar never died and she's still here. She did say that she will always be here whenever I need her. She did tell me just to call her whenever I need her.

With this thought, I sit up, and whisper, "Skylar?"

Suddenly, I feel incredibly tired and it takes everything in me not to fall back on my back and close my eyes, because just then, Skylar appears out of thin air before me. "Yes, Helen," she says. "Did you need something?"

"I just wanted to see you," I say, tiredly.

Skylar sighs and then she comes over to sit on the edge of my bed. "So, what's up?" I ask.

"Well, I was wandering the city, trying to make sense of my death, and I still got nothing. But I did see one of my "friends" saying that she's glad I'm gone." Skylar looks more disgusted than hurt and then she murmurs, "Bitch."

It takes a surprising amount of effort just to laugh. "I'm sorry, Helen," Skylar says.

"For what?" I ask.

"You are so tired right now," Skylar laughs.

I shrug. "Oh well. You can't have everything in life."

"No, you really can't. I learned that after I died."

"So, what have you been doing?"

"I already told you. I was trying to make sense of my death," Skylar says, patiently.

I nod, remembering. "Yeah, but how have you been doing that?"

"I've been keeping a close eye on everyone I was close to. I've been watching the family and all my friends, or people I thought were my friends," she looks upset now. "I hate seeing them. I mean, I love them but I don't want to see them like that. Mom was the worst."

Skylar looks upset so I use my remaining amount of energy to lift up my hand and rest it on her shoulder, until my hand went right through her shoulder and plopped back down on my bed.

Skylar laughs. "I'm dead, Helen, remember?"

I smile slightly. That's not something I like to remember. "I also saw David. He was probably the next worst after Mom. Mom was the worst because she seems like she's the most torn up about it, but David was the worst because I saw him, lying there, crying and in pain, but I couldn't do anything. There was absolutely nothing I could do to take away his pain, and it almost killed me. Again." Skylar laughs but quickly stops upon seeing the look on my face. "Too soon?"

I nod. "A little." It is silent for a moment, before I think of something else. "Skylar, why don't you show yourself to them? They would love to see you too."

Skylar sighs. "I tried," she says, "but no matter how hard I try, I just can't. I can only seem to show myself to you. When I died in that accident and my soul left my body, I went up to heaven. I met God and Jesus and they told me that I had to return to earth because I had some unfinished business and since I'm only sixteen, I figured that I had some kind of unfinished business but I didn't know what and I asked them what it was and they just frickin told me that that's for me to figure out." She rolls her eyes. "But they did say that I have to keep a close eye on you."

"Why?" I ask, and she just shrugs.

"That's something I've been trying to figure out. Why can I only show myself to you and not anyone else. Don't get me wrong, Helen, I love you, but what's so special about you? And why do I have to keep a close eye on you? I just don't get it."

"Aw," I say, yawning, "Well, don't I feel special."

"At least, you'll know that I will literally always be here for you," she says, laughing.

"Yeah," I say, my laugh turning into another yawn, "until you find out what your unfinished business is and finish it."

Skylar looks at me sadly.

Suddenly, I hear footsteps ascending the stairs. "It's Mom," Skylar says, simply. "You watch, as soon as she comes close enough to see me, I'll unintentionally disappear again."

"You don't have to disappear, just focus all your energy on staying here. Steal all of Mom's energy if you have to," I suggest.

"That won't work," she says.

"Just try."

I look up and see Mom appear in the doorway and I see Skylar immediately disappear so that it was impossible for Mom to have seen her. I seem to have all my energy back but I sigh, feeling sad at Skylar's sudden disappearance again.

"Helen," Mom says, and I see that her face is red like she's been crying non-stop like I know that she has, and her face shows signs of fresh tears, "who are you talking to?"

"No one. Myself," I say. If I actually told her that I was just talking to Skylar, she might check me into a mental hospital.

"Oh, well, okay," Mom says, before she disappears just as quickly as Skylar did.

After I hear her reach the bottom stair, I look back at the place where Skylar just was. My bedroom shows no signs that there was just someone else in here and my bed shows no signs that there was just someone else sitting on it.

I let the sadness of Skylar's disappearance consume me again and I lay down again. Skylar said that she can't be here all the time because it's difficult to show herself to me and it takes up too much of my energy, but she did say that she will always be here whenever she needs me. Well, I guess it's just too damn bad that I need her all the time.