The Worst Year Ever

Right

Saturday, July 14th, 2012

Right

Yesterday was so weird. Ashley made it seem like she knew something, but that is impossible, right? There is no way that Ashley would have even the faintest idea about--about anything, right?

I'm sitting in the middle of my bed, thinking. I have been trying to avoid thinking for the past couple of weeks but it's just inevitable now, because Ashley left me with a lot to think about.

I don't even jump when Skylar appears smoothly out of thin air at the foot of my bed. She gracefully walks around the bed post and sits at the end of my bed. "I know that you can't stop thinking about it," she says.

"How do you know that?" I ask her, barely shifting from my position on  my bed.

"Because I know you, and because I haven't been able to stop thinking about it either," she admits.

"The one question I keep asking myself is: Ashley?" I tell her. "I mean, Ashley, really? What the hell could she possibly know?"

Skylar shrugs. "I have no idea. It's been bugging me too." Skylar's eyebrows scrunch together in a concerned look.

"Skylar, are you absolutely positive that you haven't shown yourself to Ashley or talked to her at all?" I ask her, desperately.

"I'm positive," Skylar says. "You're the only one that I can show myself to and I think I would know it if I talked to Ashley at all."

"Yes," I say, "but are you absolutely sure--?"

She is looking down at my bed, but her eyes flash up to see my face, "Yes, Helen, I am absolutely sure."

I look at her questioningly for a moment and then look away, still thinking. I look back at her, still not fully believing her. "I know that Ashley is one of the people you miss the most, so maybe you were, like, so overcome with emotion sometime that you were able to show yourself to her miraculously and she saw you but you didn't realize it, and then she somehow found out that you show yourself to me and talk to me all the time?"

It was only an idea, a very desperate idea, but Skylar continues to look up at me from under her eyelids. I can tell that she doesn't believe any of what I just said.

"It was just an idea," I tell her.

"A very bad idea," she responds. "I have seen Ashley to see how she's doing and stuff, but she hasn't been able to see me or hear me, and I know that because when she is looking towards me, it's like her eyes aren't focused. She's more focused on things around me, and I would think that if her deceased best friend suddenly appeared in her room, she would get excited and show some kind of emotion, and when I talk around her, she doesn't look at me or show any sign that she heard me."

"Maybe she's just playing you," I suggest.

"Playing me?" Skylar asks, with raised eyebrows.

I just shrug. "It's possible."

Skylar laughs. "No, it's not. Just think about it. Ashley thinks I'm dead, and then I suddenly appear before  her and she can see me, I don't think she would be able to keep her cool like that. It's just like seeing a loved one that you fully believe is dead and then you're seeing them again. I picture her like flipping out if she was able to see me. I just don't think it's possible that she would act all calm like she has whenever I come around."

I sigh. "Well then, I got nothing."

"It's okay," Skylar says, sighing. "Me neither."

"Maybe we like need to see Ashley and ask her about it," I suggest.

Skylar snorts at my idea. "Yeah, what are you going to tell her since she can't see me? Are you going to ask her if she's had any contact with me even thought I'm dead. Are you going to ask her if she's seen me or talked to me at all? Are you going to tell her that you have seen and talked to me? Are you going to tell her that I've remained here on earth and have some sort of unfinished business that I have no clue about what it is yet and that I have been searching for the reason of my death? Huh, are you gonna tell her all that? She won't believe you. She will think you're crazy. She'll probably slap you and run from you screaming. So, tell me, Helen, what exactly are you going to tell her?"

"I was just going to ask her what that was all about yesterday," I say simply.

Skylar's face falls, "Oh, well, I guess that would work."

"I'm going to do it tomorrow."

"Right."