The Worst Year Ever

Okay

Sunday, July 22nd, 2012

Week 4

Okay

I'm starting to get scared now. Skylar still hasn't shown up and it's been a few days already. I have all these questions going though my head right now. Where is she? What is she doing? Is she going to come back? Will she never come back? Did she already figure out her unfinished business without me and make her way up to heaven? Without even telling me?

I don't think she would do that. Well, then again, I"m not really sure what she would or wouldn't do these days. I just wish Skylar would show up again. I know that the last time we've seen each other, I seemed a little more than angry with her and i pretty much ignored her, but I wish she was here now. 

I want her here. I want to talk to her and see her. I want to talk to her like i used to. I wish we could hang out like we used to. I wish we could talk like we used to. I wish everything could be like it used to. 

I don't like living like this. I feel like an only child and I hate it. I don't want to be an only child and I wasn't born an only child, so that's just not natural. I just don't like it.

I know somewhere in my mind that Skylar died and I have only been talking to a ghost of her formal self but it started to feel like she was really here and that terrible day never happened. I would have Skylar here to talk to all the time, whenever I needed her, which is sort of like it used to be. The only time I was reminded that Skylar really isn't there was when I would try to hug or touch Skylar and I just felt the thin air. Or when we would be around other people and they can't see her. And then when I would tend to be staring off into space, they would give me strange looks and question my sanity when I would be making faces at Skylar or appearing to be talking to nothing.

I really need someone to talk to about this because I don't think I can take knowing this by myself. I've always been the type to just need someone, anyone, to talk to because it makes going through things better and easier. No one will believe me and I'm starting to think that would be okay. I know it sounds crazy but I've also always been the type of person where if I were to keep something bottled up inside me for so long, I tend to explode. 

Lately, I've had Skylar to talk to and that seemed to be okay, but now, I haven't really had anybody because I haven't seen or talked to Skylar for what seems like ever now.

After some more careful thinking, I've made up my mind, and I want to tell Ashley and Elena about Skylar. And if they don't believe me, well at least I would know what happened by trying to talk to them about this.

With that thought, I was looking around me for my phone, when I suddenly heard footsteps on the staris, and ironicaly, Ashley and Elena appear in my doorway.

"Hey, guys!" I greet them enthusiastically, with a huge smile plastered across my face.

They give me weird looks, which is probalby a result of my huge smile. No one has seen me smile this much since "the incident."

"Hey, Helen," Elena says cautiously, stepping into the room with Ashley right behind her. 

"So what's up? Why are you guys here?" I ask them, the smile never leavign my face.

"We just came to see you," Elena says, still cautious, with Ashley behind her giving me a beady stare which is kind of creeping me out now that I am looking at her properly.

"And we also wanted to take you somewhere," Ashley says tonelessly.

"Really? Where?" I ask them still energetically.