I'll never do it again

I fucked up

AN I suck at grammar and punctuation sorry but I don't care enough to fix it 

Chapter one

Gerard's p.o.v

Beep! Beep! Beep!

The shrill sound of my stupid motherfucking alarm clock woke me up

I slammed my hand down on the snooze button hoping to God the damned thing would break..it didn't oh well god! I'm tired I rubbed my eyes trying to remember why I was up so late last night. Suddenly it all came back to me at once and I felt sick

Frankie oh god I told him I didn't love him because I didnt believe in love oh god I'm stupid so fucking stupid I have to talk to him I jumped out of bed to get my phone from the kitchen and in the process smacked my head into my bedpost I wish I was dead I thought to myself that might seem overdramatic but when you realize you've hurt the person that you're probably in love with and you were already suicidal in the first place it's not i mumbled a few of my favorite curse words and ran to the kitchen pulling my phone off the charger and typing in Franks number dial tone more dial tone beep hi it's Frank uh I'm busy or something leave a message and I'll call back beep I hung up the phone and texted him "frank I didn't mean it I swear please pick up the Phone"immediately I see "read at 10:30am " no answer I really fucked up this time

What if he cut because of me? Why am I such an awful guy ? I feel like shit i sat down at the table and put my head on my arms with my phone in hand "HEY G!"

I startled awake to my little brother shaking me. I thought you'd never wake up! Did you take my eyeliner? He was awfully panicked over it. no I didn't take your eyeliner I have my own! Gosh gee you didn't need to snap at me ? Mikey said he sounded hurt Great now I'd hurt to people I love maybe I should pull and Elsa and trap myself In a frozen castle. Are you okay gee ? Yeah I'm fine Mikey sorry I said hoping he hadn't caught onto my mental state. Alright I'm gonna go look more mom said I can go out since it's Saturday he grinned I'm gonna go see Pete. Wow great bring protection school girl I taunted. Gee! I told you it's not like that he shouted although the red tone of his suggested otherwise. Alright mikes I laughed holding my hands up in defense Mikey laughed and ran up stairs i leaned back yawning and looked at the digital clock on the stove 1:45!! How did I sleep that long I grabbed my phone checking messages nothing I decided to check his Instagram hopefully his posts weren't super vague and about me a picture of a sunset no caption at 10:45 I scrolled down black and white picture of a pack of ciggerettes with the caption " if you wanted me to forget you it's not gonna work if you wanted me to hate you you're pretty damn close" yup definitely fucked up