I'll never do it again

Untitled Part 4

Chapter four

Frank's p.o.v

I looked at Gerard again who was standing there shocked. realizing that we hadn't held hands since we were four I quickly dropped my hand back to my side walking quickly to the door come on I said turning back to Gerard fro a second hoping my embarrassment didn't show. Right he said clearing his throat and walking out the door I was holding open he looked slightly upset still I hoped it wasn't still over last night because yea I was pissed in the moment the person I've been falling in love with for the last four years "didnt believe in love" but then I realized two things one Gerard was getting bad again with depression and suicidal tendencies although Im not sure he ever got better I'm pretty sure he just got better at hiding it and he was trying to push me away so I didn't see it but the thing is I've always known I knew when it started when he was twelve and he thought I was too young to understand so he wouldn't talk to me about I knew when he said the razors in his backpack must've fallen out of his dad's shaver when he was thirteen and I knew when he showed up with dark sunglasses and a stumble at 15 that Gerard was hurting and broken now he was nineteen and I was eighteen and we were both fucked up in he head but Gerard was by far the more broken one he was like and angel that fell from heaven but broke its wings on the way down and couldn't get back there....sorry that was gay the second thing I realized is that somewhere gee did believe in love he was still hurting from his abusive bitch of an ex nikki she seemed sweet and innocent at first but it quickly became all sex and no love with a shit load of manipulating Gerard into lowering his standards Gerard broke it off himself and tried to pass it off as no big deal but he still jumped when people touched him and he used to never shower and he showers everyday some times multiple times a day he was always washing his hands and he never ate there was no way it was no big deal. Oh! I was pulled out of thought by Gerard voice. I forget you lived right next to Petes house Mikeys there right now he said. Oh yea I bet their "studying" I said sarcastically pretty much everyone knew Mikey has a "thing" for Pete even if he insists he's not gay. Yea I was teasing him about it this morning too Gerard giggled oh god I loved his giggle and the way his nose scrunched up when he laughed and God he's perfect. Frank? Staring much? He laughed with a raised eyebrow. Oh uh sorry I mumbled staring back at my feet