The girl they will never have

39.

My routine was the same. No major changes. But it was good. Oh yes,the only change was that new guy who had been trying to be more than just a stranger.

Asher.

Hmmh. He looks as good and handsome as Yeon. So his popularity was not faraway. Or should I say Mr.Philips became the most sought after professor. I really didn't understand why girls did all this dumb shit. Okay,I get it. He is handsome and all but why do they have to throw themselves on him. And I don't care about him. But about the self respect of women. Where's feminism now? If he likes you,he would come to you. You don't have to go around and flaunt your body just to show your existence.

And I have no idea why he is being a pest and still asking me to join for lunch? I didn't even talk to him nor did I met him. Then why the heck is he irritating me in this way.? I either indulge in a book or music or food whenever he is around. Because these are some of the many things that could trigger my angry mode whenever I'm disturbed. And I'm trying my very best to be rude to him. Huh. But the problem is- he is not much affected by my ignorance or my glares.

Because I come out to be rude and the ice queen,no one actually gives me those iconic stares. Thankfully,my college does not has the classic bitches or what you say them as mean girls or whatever. I don't get glares but I do get once overs once a day by everyone.

I was not going to do the mistake of keeping shut and let him do whatever like I did with Usan. I am gonna say him a clear no and free both of us.

So I am walking to his desk outside Mr.Philips cabin and say him a simple no and walk away. It's lunch now so I could escape sooner from there.

I knock at his door and I'm sure Mr.Philips would be out so I could get some privacy. But it would have been better if he would have been there. Less awkwardness and lesser efforts.

"Yeah? Come in."

I walk inside and he looks up from his notes. After a confused look,he smiles expressing his utter joy. I walk and stand in front of his desk and eye him confidently. Asher is standing near a shelf and reading some notes. He walks up to me and sits down in his chair.

"Have a seat. Miss..?"

I sit down because I had something more to say in addition to a no. I don't prefer giving him my surname and exchange pleasantries and start to talk directly to the point.

"You must know one lesson in your life. I'm sure you know about it but maybe you forgot. And it's called self respect."

I pause and watch him. He remains silent and I continue.

" You have been asking me to join for lunch for about a month now. And I have shown zero interest in your proposal. This might clearly mean that maybe I'm playing hard. But believe me,that's not what I'm doing. My no means a "no". And if I was in your place then I would have tried a week and after that,I wouldn't care much about your existence. And you should do the same. No girl is ever worth that much so that you lose your self respect. Do Try but not beyond limits. I think that limit is over so you should simply just ignore me and go ahead and find someone else."

I shrugged and adjusted my glasses. Giving him a small smile,I waited for his reply.

"So you think I should no longer try."

"Yeah."

He smirked at me and asked

" which means that you think you don't deserve me?"