IN THIS SKIN -- CHICAGO FIRE

26;

Cindy dropped Marley off at the Chaplains office for her councilling session. She was feeling extra anxious today about it all, as she'd overheard Matt and Christopher talking. Kelly was coming back soon. She was terrified to see him, scared of what he'd do, and say. But she hadn't spoken to anyone about this, because she wasn't supposed to know.

Walking into the office, she was surprised to see Antonio waiting in the sofa area. She gulped, realising that meant Gabby must have been inside. She had been purposefully avoiding everyone, and had only seen Gabby twice since the accident. Her eyes scanned the room, trying to find somewhere to hide so neither of them saw her, but it didn't work. Antonio saw her immediately, and stood up.
"Marley!" He exclaimed, walking over to her and bringing her into a hug. She hugged back half heartedly.
"How've you been?" He asked, pulling her to sit with him.
"Alright, I guess." She said quietly. He raised his eyebrow at her, but didn't push it.
"How is living with Herrmann and his bunch?" He chuckled. Marley smiled at the mention of her new family.
"I love it, I love them all." She said warmly, grinning at Antonio.

Their short conversation was interrupted by the door to the Chaplain's office opening, and a teary eyed Gabby walking out with her head down. When she looked up, and saw Marley stood that, her eyes filled up with tears once more. Gabby took a step forwards towards her, but Marley quickly stepped back. A look of hurt flashed across Gabby's face, and Marley instantly felt guilty.
"Marley?" Gabby asked. Marley opened her mouth, but no words came out.
"I-I, I'm sorry." She mumbled, walking past her and quickly entering the Chaplain's office.

"Marley, sweetie, we've been in here for half an hour and you've barely said 3 words about the accident or Shay or Gabby or Kelly or anything."
"Because there's nothing more to say! It was my fault."
"Marley, we've been through this. The explosion couldn't have been helped-"
"Not the explosion! Shay dying! That's my fault."
"How so?"
"Because! Because I woke up first, I saw both of them lying dead. I had to choose who was going to live. I had to decide who I was going to save. But everyone always tells me that negative thoughts have a negative effect, so maybe if I had thought to myself they'll both live and have worked harder to save them both rather than knowing one of them would die, then they'd both be alive. But I didn't. I wasted time thinking about who to save and that was so selfish of me. It should be me in Shay's position now, I deserve it!" She shouted at the Chaplain, blinking back tears.
Despite his many years of training, he didn't know what to say. He gently pulled her into a hug and let her cry for a while.
"D'ya know, Marley, Gabby also blames herself?"
"At least Gabby is the only one who blames her." The Chaplain frowned at this.
"What do you mean? No one else other than you blames you Marley."
"Everyone says that but you all know it's not true at all!" Marley snapped, standing up and pacing around. She could feel the anger and anxiety racing through her veins and she tried to calm herself down before she shouted at the poor man before her. The Chaplain shook his head in confusion. Marley groaned out of frustration.
"Kelly! He left me because it was my fault. He would rather have Shay alive than me and he couldn't bare to see me because he doesn't want me anymore! And now he's coming home soon and I know he's going to send me back, but they will only take me back until I'm 18 and then what?!" Marley let all her concerns and worries out without realising. The Chaplain was quiet for a moment, contemplating whether telling her what he wanted to was the right thing.
"Marley, listen. I'm not supposed to tell you this, but I've been speaking to Kelly. He was angry at first, but he really doesn't blame you for this. He's been trying to call you, but he never got through. And he didn't want to see anyone from the house, so he didn't call anyone else."
"My phone got smashed in the explosion and I've not got round to getting a new phone yet."
"He's coming back, you know? Soon too." Marley nodded.
"I know, I overheard Matt and Christopher talking."

The rest of the appointment went uneventfully, and Marley had calmed down by the time she left. Today was the first day she was going back to the firehouse as Cindy and the children were going out of town and Marley didn't have a key to get in, so she had to go and wait with them for Herrmann to finish his shift. She was nervous, because she was worried everyone hated her for not seeing them in so long. but she was ready to see them at last. She felt less guilty about Shay knowing Kelly didn't despise her for it, but she still wasn't ready to see him.

The walk took about thirty minutes, and on the way she passed a group of teenagers that she recognised. It was Cleo, Elliott, Ethan, Jay and another girl that she hadn't recognised. She swore in her head, wanting to avoid them. She hadn't seen any of them since they harassed her and she had only spoken to Jay a couple of times on FaceBook since she got home. But, of course, she was fresh out of luck, and they all saw and recognised her, and walked up to her despite her efforts to escape.
"Marley Severide! It's been a while!" Cleo yelled from behind her, and Marley flinched but turned around.
"Hey." She said quietly.

A moment of quiet passed. Thoughts ran through her head, are they going to beat me? Are they going to say something? Are they going to try and mug me? But none of those things happened. Jay walked up to her slowly, and Marley closed her eyes and braced herself for the punch, but what he did surprised her. He put his arms around her, and hugged her.
"I'm so so sorry Marley, for everything." He whispered. Marley stood frozen for a moment, not knowing what to do or say, but slowly patted him on the back. He released her and the group walked away, surprising Marley once more.

She continued on her walk to the firehouse. When it came into view, she took a deep breath and walked closer. She was almost at the door when someone walked out of it. The person in the doorway made Marley's heart flutter and her anxiety flare aggressively. Her eyes widened and the figure in the door's mouth opened slightly. Marley took a deep breath before speaking.

"Hello Kelly."