Falling Back #wattys2017

Chapter One

When I finally reached my house, I didn't even feel like going in. All I could think about was Mike Willis committing suicide. I sat on my porch swing, looking out on the 7 acres of open land we have. The sun was shining brightly and the birds were chirping. But for me, there was no sunshine, no birds, just depression and sorrow for Mike.

Mike Willis was just a boy who went to my school. We literally had no classes together but we had the same lunch period. He would always wear a hoodie and his long brown hair covered his face. Mike also had no friends. Literally none. He was a social outcast and at lunch, I would always notice him eating by himself. One thing Mike had going for him though was the fact that he was really really cute. I remembered that I had a moment with him in freshman year.

It was just an average school day. There was hot soup for lunch and I was really craving hot soup more than anything else in the world. So after I bought my soup, I was walking to my lunch table where Hanna and Tracey were sitting. Then all of a sudden, Mike bumps into me and I nearly stumble onto the ground. My hot soup on my tray spilled all over Mike's hoodie and I lost my lunch.

"My lunch!" I cry

"My hoodie!" yelled Mike

Then, Mike looked up at me with the angriest look on his face I have ever seen on a person. He had every right to be angry I guess. I spilled hot soup on him. It's just, at that moment when we looked up at each other, I noticed how beautiful his hazel eyes were and how dashing his hair was. I guess I fell in love at first sight. I didn't like him because he was so handsome and it was hard to believe that a handsome man like him could be created, it was because I saw something in him I have never seen in a guy before. And I don't know what it was. It's just, for some reason, I fell for him on the spot.

I remembered that I was only fourteen years old and I wasn't allowed to date until I was sixteen. So I just glanced at him awkwardly and walked away. I never did develop a crush on him or anything and I forgot about him very quickly. We haven't talked to each other or looked at each other ever since.

And now hearing that Mike Willis is dead?! I felt so awful. My stomach was hurting and there would be a lump in my throat every time I tried to swallow. It felt like someone very important to me died. Like a relative or close friend. But I never even knew Mike so why was I this upset? Maybe I was just shocked that someone in my school would really commit suicide. That's a terrible thing to happen.

After I thought more and more about poor Mike, I started crying. More tears came out of my eyes than ever before. My loud sobs caused my dad to come outside.

"What's wrong Sarah?" asked my dad as he sat next to me on the porch swing

"Mike Willis killed himself" I cried

"Mike Willis?'' asked Dad "who's Mike Willis?"

"A boy in my school"

I guess there wasn't much my dad could think. He never even knew Mike. Sure, he could try to comfort me as best as he could but he didn't feel the same pain I did. No one did. No one in my school really cared about Mike. I didn't either until he killed himself. I was really the only one who was mourning Mike's death.

"Even though I never knew Mike, I know how you feel" said Dad "When your mother died, I was just upset as you were. It took me months to recover from it. You're probably never going to stop missing Mike but I promise you that it will get better"

My mom died during childbirth so my dad raised me in our country house in Rhode Island. Sure, my dad is such a loyal, sweet man but it's hard to be raised without a mother. I guess what's harder for me was that I was the reason why my mother died. If I wasn't born, my mother would have never died. Dad would have had a wife. I felt so guilty about the fact that having me took my mother's life away.