You & I || h.s (ON HOLD FOR EXTREME EDITING)

Chapter One

* Edited. And a warning, the first chapter is different from the rest because I have yet to edit them. But in the end, everything will make sense (: Enjoy! *
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I didn't know human beings could have this kind of feeling, bottled up inside of them, waiting to explode any second. I want to believe myself when I say that I don't deserve this, but I think I do.

But I don't know what to think anymore. So much has happened in the past, and I know that my mental and emotional states can't take much more. But now, I hope I can start anew.

A new beginning in New York City, far away from my childhood. I'm going to create a new life and a new story, and I will forget everything. So far, my plans are not working exactly how I had wanted them to turn out. I've prayed everyday that I could somehow survive my wounds and scars, but I'm not so sure anymore. I've already gone to hell twice before. I don't want to go back.
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Today was the day that I would be moving into the City College of New York. My dream was to major in music, to become a musician. And now, it's finally coming true. My entire life I've surrounded myself with music. It has guided me through my brightest and darkest times. But now, when I'm faced with the reality of my dream, I'm scared shitless. I have no idea what to expect once I walk through those double doors. Would I finally be greeted with something new, like welcoming smiles and warm embraces? Or something that I'm used to, like cold stares and shunned greetings?

I stand outside CCNY, bracing myself for what's yet to come. Their platinum double doors mock me as they reflect myself, my two large polka dotted suitcases, and Rose--my favorite guitar. It shows my rather grimacing appearance--my brown hair pulled up into a messy bun, a little bit of makeup, and a red plaid with a black tank top, ripped skinny jeans, and tan combat boots. Through the reflecting doors, I find my own face twisted into a scowl. Just another day, Liv, I thought. Just another day.

I close my eyes, inhale a deep breath and slowly exhale it. When I open my eyes, I hear everything around me. Before, it was like my fear had blocked everything out. But now that I'm a little less tense, I can listen to all the little things around me. Turning around, the first thing I notice is the large amount of students wildly strolling along the campus commons. Some look excited while others seem to drag themselves to their next class. I know for a fact that this school holds a ton of students so most of them must be in class already.

The commons area is large as well. The whole venue is surrounded by the campus walls in a circle-like formation. The middle of the commons holds a beautiful water fountain. A few students are sitting around it, either studying or just hanging out with a friend. Sidewalks and paths circle around the fountain and lead off to campus entrances. The green grass adds to the lively feel of the scenery. The structure of the buildings are quite old but the grass makes it look alive. Plus, the spring sun is out and there isn't a cloud in sight.

I frown. Too bad I'll be stuck inside and not outside where I could be taking advantage of this lovely day.

I turn back around, now facing the doors. Everything comes crawling back inside and I feel my body tense up again. I sigh as I grip the handles of my suitcases tighter. Here goes nothing, I thought as I drag them, Rose, and my frightened spirit through those platinum double doors.

Once inside, I look around and let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding. It's not that bad. The main entrance is quiet and not as crowded as I thought it would be. A few students are here and there, but that's the majority of it all.

I mentally roll my eyes and curse at myself for acting so weak before. I make my way to the main office and retrieve my room key and schedule. I thank the receptionist and head over to the elevator. As I was taking in the spacious room, I accidentally run into someone, making them drop their books in the process.