A letter to my father.

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---- This isn't really a poem but just as emotional as the others!!---

I never thought I'd be doing this. But all the hatred in my heart is so..inapt. You just hurt me so bad. The first few years of my life you were the moon to my stars and it was just this innocent blindness. And I felt so replaced. So unwanted. You left me and mom and had so many new families it was like there was no room in your heart for me. I got older and the sadness became silence. And the silence became anger. Anger at you for forgetting me. Anger at myself for not being a good enough daughter. Eventually the anger became hatred, which isn't in my character. I don't hate. I look at my pictures and I see your features and it kills me because parts of me don't want to be part of you. But all I wanted was to feel like I meant something. And I guess I've finally come to terms with the fact that all this hatred and anger isn't good. For anyone. In about another year I'll be an adult. I don't want to carry so much heaviness in my heart anymore.  I've spent the last 5 or 6 years wish you'd just go away but regardless I'll look in the mirror for the rest of my life and see mom but..I'll see you too. I'm not saying everything will be fixed but..I just want everything to be okay. Because I don't hate you. I don't think I ever did.

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