Hyacinths & Biscuits

The Day My Best Friend Attacked

Your calloused hand gripping my wrist and moving smoothly across my thighs. Your free hand slowly slipping between my legs. The laughs that were once full of joy fade to soft chuckles filled with fear. why didn't i scream? or push harder? You were so strong. that's part of what made me like you in the first place. you drag my hand across your lap, pulling my whole body towards you. As you stand I try to leave but once again I am met with the strong arms that once gave me comfort. For a second you looked into my eyes, and you were gentle. Your finger softly brushing across my lips. Your eyes were soft. Warm. Maybe I'm okay, maybe we can look past this. Then, just as quickly as you had made me feel safe you struck again. Your strong hands squeezing my face and forcing my mouth open. Why me? I thought we were best friends. I thought you were always going to keep me safe. When did you stop being my protector and become my attacker?I would have done it. I would have given you that piece of me. But on my terms, and at my pace. There was no mutual respect. Just predator and prey. No longer childhood friends, but a man and his needs versus a girl who trusted him. You clawed your way down my throat and into the pits of my stomach. Marking each corner and crevice as your own. As you hugged me goodbye I fought back my tears to save you the pain of realizing what you'd done. The moment was fleeting. A flash of lightning that burned your hands on my skin. I still love you, though. Please just say sorry. I'm begging you. Please close the pit in my stomach. Please. Just tell me you didn't mean it. Tell me it was the worst thing you'd ever done, and ever will do. Please promise me you'll never make another girl feel this way. Please. Just stop.