Lemme Use You To Love You ~ Halren

(11): Don't Play

I'm fucking sick of her doing this! I can't let her do this to me anymore. It just ain't right, but I've been letting her for a year. I was patient with her for a fucking year. It isn't like I'm just telling her, no, I told her a few months after we started this. She turned me down, but she explained to me why. Then, my stupid ass decided to let her use me more. I fell deeper in love and I basically dig a hole for my heart to die in.

I know, I sound like an overdramatic sonuvabitch, but you don't understand the pain this girl put me through for a year. Honestly, we both just want something to fill the loveless, lustful, painful, void that our past lovers created. We just wanna feel anything at the moment. We are each others anything.

She has to be cut out of my life for good. Though, my dumb ass would only paste her back in. I hated that when she'd speak softly to me, her words were damn near invisible. I fell for those eyes and ignored what my family and friends told me. I know of what she does and why, but they no longer validate her actions. Hell, she's probably out making another feel what I felt not too long ago.

Wanna know something? I know she feels for me like how I feel for her. I could feel it in her kisses, in her touches, in her eyes. She's just stubborn as fuck. I'm not going to make her admit it, no. I just need to tell myself repeatedly that I don't need her. I was doing fine before her. Yeah, I just got out of a relationship, but it was stale anyway so I didn't really care.

The thing is with Lauren is that she doesn't want anyone to get too close. She constantly asks for space when she's been here a second too long. She's just afraid she'd get figured out. The only people that I assume really know her is her friends Camila, Lucy, Ally, and Veronica. I think her ex, who I personally despise, knows her better, too. I see it, every time Lauren comes over, I see the hurt, the anger, the sadness. Those, dull, green eyes, that are only vibrant in the day time, tells secrets she tries so hard to keep.

She's been bottling everything up for a year, maybe there's other things to add to it. It's only a matter of time before she explodes.