The Trip to My Heart (BxB)

Chapter 21

Elliot's POV

Out of nowhere, I wake up. The atmosphere of my room is still heavy and dank so I can tell that it's not morning yet. It takes me a second to figure out the cause of my awakening, when I heard rustling downstairs.

Gavin probably can't sleep either. Maybe I'll go down there and check on him.. I ease out of the covers, trying not to wake Chester.

The stairs creak as I walk down, and as I get closer I begin to notice the kitchen's bright lights illuminating the area.

"Gavin? What are you doing up so late?" I turn the corner and notice he's sitting on the floor in front of my fridge, with a granola bar in his left hand, and a glass of milk in the other. "Sorry if I woke you, Ell. I haven't gone to sleep yet. I've had too much on my mind."

"It's okay. Do you want some Benadryl or something that can put you to sleep?" I ask in attempt to help.

"No, it's okay. If I'm being totally honest, the only way I could go to sleep and enjoy it would be if you came and laid with me.." Gavin's voice trailed off, as if he was scared to say that.

I didn't know what to say. All I could do was sigh deeply, and look down at my feet like I didn't hear what he just recommended. "Elliot. Please. Do this one thing for me. I haven't slept in days and I can't take it anymore. Nothing will make it better except you."

"Gavin I really shouldn't. I don't want it to turn into someth-"

"It won't." He interrupted abruptly. "No sex. No shenanigans. Just sleep. And maybe some light cuddling. But that's it! Cross my heart." He even does the little cross motion across his chest.

"Fine. Only because I pity you and I want you to catch up on some rest." My eyes roll unintentionally. "Great!" He smiles, exposing his perfectly straight white teeth. "I'm gonna finish eating this and I'll meet you in there."

I trudge into the guest bedroom to see that the sheets are all bundled up and coming off the bed, showing that Gavin didn't lie, and really couldn't get comfortable. Straightening them out, I lie down, sink into the mattress's memory foam, and situate myself before Gavin walks in.

I rub my eyes and sigh deeply, already kind of regretting this spontaneous decision. Too late to turn back now, I guess..

Gavin walks in, and plops his body onto the bed, scooting closer to me. My arm unintentionally sticks itself out, preventing him from getting any closer. "What is it?" He asks, disappointed.

I make my point as best as I can. "I said I'd lay with you but I didn't agree to the whole cuddling thing." He frowns slightly, shrugs, and accepts the fact that I wanted to keep as much distance between us as possible.

I turn my body over so I'm facing away from him, and I shove a pillow between us as an extra precaution. Immediately it seems like he's snoozing. Good for him, there's no way I'm getting any sleep tonight. At least while I'm in a bed with my ex boyfriend.

All night, I struggle to get any shut eye, so I pass the time by staring at the ceiling and letting my mind wander off to think about.. Leighton. I can't do this to myself. Even hearing my conscience say his name makes me shudder. It all still hurts too badly...

But nothing I do can take his memory away from me. Not that I want it gone, but, ugh. It's too complicated.

.....

I guess I finally fell asleep, because when I opened my eyes again I could see the sunlight peeking through the blinds.

"G'morning sleepyhead." I roll over and notice Gavin staring at me while I groan. "Someone's not a morning person!" He laughs, and gazes into my sleepy brown eyes. "Maybe I can fix that." He says, and suddenly he leans in and presses his lips against mine.

I was still half asleep, so I didn't react as quickly as I should've. But I also didn't push him off of me. I kissed him back.

My hands navigate their way into his messy blonde hair and tug at it. His tongue makes an entrance into my mouth and I returned the favor.

What am I doing right now? You don't even like him, Elliot. Why are you making out with him?

Gavin throws one leg over my lap and grinds on my "morning wood," while we continue kissing each other. He moans, and that's when reality comes back to me.

"Stop. Get off. I can't do this right now." My harsh tone startles Gavin. "You promised me we wouldn't do any of this. What happened?" Gavin's eyes meet the floor and he shrugs. "I'm sorry, I just thought it was something I should do."

I put my hands over my face and aggressively point to the door. "Get your stuff and go outside. I'm going to call the car people."

Without a word said, he does just as I commanded, and I walk up to my room to change clothes. What has gotten into you, Elliot? You know better. And how could you do this to Leighton? That's not right. You should be ashamed of your actions. This is why you have such a hard life.

"UGHHH STOP!!!!!!" I pound my fists against my bedroom walls in extreme anger with myself. I leave a slight dent, but it's not too noticeable. I sink to the floor and calm my breathing. My mind won't let me rest and it's making me go mad.

Get it together. Call AAA and then you can sit down and take a chill pill.

.....

After a couple of long minutes, AAA shows up at my house and fixes Gavin's car. He leaves without saying goodbye, but I'm not complaining. I need to stay away from him.

Sitting on my couch, I grab a blanket and pull it over my head, listening to the tranquil sounds of the air conditioning. Tears form in my eyes and as if a switch was flipped in me, I started crying. Nothing in my life feels right anymore.

Leighton, wherever you are, I need you..

---

Elliot & Leighton?
or
Elliot and Gavin?

Who do you ship?!
Let me know!
or don't.. that's fine too.

-Emily