Life's Little Teardrops

28. All I Can Do

As we arrived at JuV I noticed a strange silence fell through the air, like a strange hint at the events to come.

Koleby and Kiah carried their duffel bags into the lobby."I assume from the duffel bag you'll be staying?" I ask. Kiah looks hesitant while Koleby nods happily.

I wonder, for at least six months Destiny wouldn't stop talking about Koleby Miller and how cute he was. Was it possible that throughout the time the three(including her sister) had watched movies, gone out for pizza, and played Xbox that Koleby HADNT liked Jasmine. That he had liked Deedee.

I couldn't help but smile at this happy possibility, The lobby was empty though even the key booth. I walked around the cage to the hallway leading to the garden and dining hall. As I peaked through the dining hall doorway I heard whispers fly through the air and I could tell something had happened. Deedee was the first to tell me.

"Trinity'd awake. The infection was affected more than they thought." She sighed and I could see a tear fall from behind her Black aviators. Koleby looked confused but concerned in the same. "They give her a week." She said it quietly, like if she didn't say it no one would know and if no one knew it wasn't true.

She walked past me to the hallway and I could tell it was not a pleasant feeling that made her run away. She stumbled down the hallway to the garden door, I was tempted to follow her but I could tell it wasn't the right call.

"Koleby," I said trying to hold it together. He nods solemnly.

"Go talk to her please."

As I say it my voice cracks and that feeling you get right before you cry overtakes me. That feeling where your eyes feel like they're filled to the brim with warning and you fan feel your spine waiting to curve into a slant so you can collapse.

I turn and take a deep breath. One foot after the other until I reach my room door.

I take out my key and unlock my door realizing I left my stuff in the Volvo. As the lock clicks I open it slowly for no reason at all.

There is a glass vase sitting in front if the door with a collection of white roses and red tulips, their is also a white paper tied to a red ribbon.

The little girl

Just could not sleep

Because her thoughts were

Much too deep

Her mind had gone

Out for a stroll

And fallen down the rabbit hole-

My condolences

Erin

It was enough to make me break down, I knew it before I had read to the last line. I knew the tears would fall.

I sat down on the bed rereading the note as my tears began to boil over in my eyes. My head got hot and my eyes burned so singeing I couldn't open them to read it anymore.

Why was I so sad now? When we had got the message before Firehouse I didn't cry. I guess I didn't really know, their was still a possibility Stella had lied . I knew now that it was real, and that with every second Trinity grew weaker.

I put my head in my hands and thought of the note as it dropped to the floor. She made it sound like Trinity was a lost cause, the little optimistic dictionary. She wasn't gone yet and I had already received a bouquet of pity flowers. She wasn't gone and people were treating her like she was.

She was not gone.

My eyes stopped stinging and I looked at the flower vase, still sitting in the center of the room.

She wasn't gone.

It was enraging to think that I would loose my practical sister, but it sting my brain to know that people were jumping to get it over with.

I stood next to them eyeing the little ribbon and fresh pollen smell.

It was a slight thought, I had them often of saying something or doing something I wanted to do, I always held back.

Except for now.

My black boot swung back and I twisted my shoulder slightly as my foot made contact, shattering the vase into little chunks of glass. The flowers flew across the class in a hale storm of glass and petals. I sat my foot on the ground and looked at the mess.

I curled up on my bed thinking if the next week.

Would she have a funeral?

Would she have time to plan it herself?

Would she be okay?

Or would she leave?

Where was Blaine?

Was he okay?

What about her family?

What if they showed up later?

I thought they died but....

What about Stella? Did she know?

As a monstrosity of questions fogged my head I could only cry, I could only think of how amazing it must have been before this.

So much has happened I can barely remember.

But as I think of everything Me and Trin have been through; every inside joke, book quotes shared, music suggestions and bus rides...

All I can do is cry.