Paige's POV
Yesterday was my grandmother's funeral. Back at home we are having a memorial service for her. Right now I am sitting on one of the horses just on the pathway. It helps me to get aqway and think about things. The other day we were going through my grandmother's things and I found the key that unlocks my locket. Inside is a picture of my mom and I right when I was born and then her and I again when I was three right before she died.
"Hey kiddo." my aunt Jenny said coming up next to me
"Hey." I said smiling slightly at her
"So I am going to be living with you guys for the next couple weeks until things get back to normal." she explained
"Will things ever get back to normal?" I asked shaking my head
"In time they will. You just have to have faith. I have something for you." she said handing me a letter
"Your grandmother wrote it before she died. I will let you read it by yourself." she said riding away
"Oh and Mo, I know you hate how things are now but just rememebr everything happens for a reason." she said before riding off
I rode down to the end of the path and got off. I opened the letter and leaned against the fence post.
Dear Paige,
I am sorry we have to say goodbye like this. But please know this isn't goodbye forever this is see you soon. I just want you to know how proud I am of you. You have turned out to be such a beautiful, smart, loving person. You are going to do great things each and every day. You remind me so much of your mother in the way you look and the way you act. I know she would have been proud also. I am sorry I never talked much about her, it was very hard. I saw you almost everyday and you just reminded me of her. It was like she never left. You even have her same laugh. I know you are going through a hard time right now with Jack. But please know that I think he made a mistake and you should forgive him. Even though how your guys relationship started isn't right, I think you guys are ment to be. I see the way you guys look at eachother. If there is one thing that you have learned from me I hope it is to never give up and to always think the positive way. I knew years ago that I was going to die, I just never knew when. I know you are probaly feeling all alone now but trust me you are not alone. I will always be in your heart. If you ever need somebody to talk to I will always listen. I love you to the moon and back Mo please always remember that. I am going to end this letter with one of my favorite quotes. It was your mother's too, it goes: Love is fragile. And we are not always it's best caretakers. We just muddle through and do the best we can. And hope thing survives, against all odds. I love you Paige, I will see you soon.
Love Mammow
At this point I am sobbing now. I look up to see little kid running past me and I wipe my eyes and climb back on my horse. I ride to the graveyard and stop the horse in front of my mother's grave. I hope off and sit down in front of it.
"Hey mommy. I'm sorry I didn't bring you any flowers. I just really need somebody to talk to right now. I miss you a lot. It is times like this where I wish you were around. I don't know what to do mom. I feel like everything is crumbling down and I am the one that needs to pick up the pieces. Mammow is gone and Dad is acting like he did when you died. I am going through my first heartbreak and I can't handle it anymore." I said sobbing
"I just need to know that everything is going to be alright." I whispered
***********
I hit the button on my alarm to turn it off. It is monday and I am finlly going back to school today. I got up and hopped into the shower and blow dried my hair. I parted it to the side and straightened it. I threw on my black leggins, black converse boots, and a black, white, and hot pinked stripped oversized sweater. I applied some foundation, blush, eye shadow, top eyeliner, mascara, and pink lip gloss.
I walked downstairs and poured myself some juice and ate a banana.
"Hey you ready to go?" my aunt asked me grabbing the keys
"Is dad going to work today?" I asked already knowing the answer
"I don't think so sweetie." she said as wem walked out the door. The car ride to school was silent. I don't feel like talking much these days. We got to school in about fifteen minutes with traffic.
"Are you sure you are ready to go back?" she asked me looking all worried
"Yes I will be fine don't worry." I told her kissing her cheek and grabbing my stuff
"Hey mo have fun please." she said before driving off. As I was walking up the steps to school I felt everybody staring at me. Great now I am some sort of freakshow.
"Hey buddy how are you doing?" Megan asked coming up next to me
"I could really use a hug." I said. She smiled and brought me in for one
"He has practically been stalking me saying how sorry he is." she said nodding over towards Jack. I looked at him. He wasn't on crutches anymore but he still had a brace on and was limping a little bit.
"I know I got all his texts and calls. I just don't want to talk to him right now." I said
"I know you don't want to hear this right now but I think he really does regret what he did." she said gently
"Hey Paige. How are you?" Millie and Bri asked coming up and giving me a hug
"I'm ok guys thanks." I said hugging them back
I was sitting in the middle of third period when I felt two people standing in front of me. It was Sam and Jack J.
"Can I help you guys with something?" I asked coldly
"We came to talk to you." they said sitting down across from me
"Look Paige you don't know how sorry we are. We feel like assholes." Jack said
"You guys are assholes." I said crossing my arms over my chest
"We get that. But look Jack did think you were really pretty when he saw you. And we just wanted him to be happy again after his breakup with Courtney. We never ment for you to find out. Jack is a mess without you. And we all miss you." Sam said
"Well I miss you guys too but I don't know what you want me to say? Oh I forgive you guys and everything can just go back to the way it used to be? Cause it can't."
"We arn't asking you to pretend with us." Jack said
"Then what are you guys asking me to do? You guys hurt me bad and it is going to take a lot more than I'm sorry to fix this." I said getting my books together
"Do you think we will ever be friends again?" Sam asked me
"I don't want to be like No I will never talk to you again but I can't be normal with you. I want to but I can't. I'm sorry." I said shaking my head and walking off to lunch
