Just A Kiss (Rilaya)

Joshoua Matthews

Maya's POV:

I rap my knuckles on the hard wood of the door at the house that Josh is staying at.

A few seconds later the door swings open to reveal Josh's dreamy face-only this time it doesn't get to me. This time he's just a face, and I know that I don't have feelings for him.

"Maya." Josh says with a smile.

"Hi Josh." I say.

"Come in," He says, gesturing inside with his arm.

I walk into the familiar house that two days ago I had been in flushing my feelings for Riley down the drain and replacing them for Josh.

"Where's your friend?" I ask.

"He's out." Josh says.

"So we're alone?" I ask. 

"Yeah..." Josh says.

"Oh. God. I didn't mean it like that." I say pressing my hand to my face in embarrassment.

Josh laughs. "I know."

I take off my coat and set my backpack on the floor. "Can I use your bathroom?"

"Sure." He points down the hall and says, "First door on the right."

I enter the bathroom and look into the mirror. I take deep breaths and focus on my reflection. My stomach is filled with knots of nervousness and I feel like I'm going to puke.

Calm yourself, Maya. I say in my head. My hands clam up and I squeeze them into balls. I turn on the cold water and splash myself in the face with it.

I dry off my face with a towel and take one more look into the mirror. I decide it's now or never, and I open the door, ready to face Josh.

When I enter the living room I see Josh standing there with a piece of paper in his hand.

"What's this?" He asks.

My stomach drops. I look at my backpack and see that it's unzipped. "You went through my bag?"

"Your phone was ringing and it wouldn't stop. I thought maybe it was important but I found this right on top of it."

"Josh, I can explain-" I start.

"Explain what? What exactly did you come over here for?" He asks.

"Can we sit?" I ask.

"Fine." He says, sitting on the couch. I sit down next to him and look down at my hands in my lap.

"Josh I'm not in love with you." I say. I could barely get the words out of my mouth.

A look of hurt spreads across his face. "But last Saturday-"

"Was a mistake." I say cutting him off. "The night I came back from the dance I found Riley in the Bay Window and...we had a moment."

"What kind of moment?" Josh asks.

"We kissed." I say.

"Oh." Josh looks down at his feet. "But why didn't you tell me? I thought you wanted to be with me, and you were too scared to tell Riley."

"I made that up." I say guiltily. "I was mad at her for kissing Lucas a day after we kissed, but it was all a big misunderstanding. He kissed her, and she pulled away. We made up and now we're together. We love each other, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you until now."

"I'm sorry too." Josh says. "Sorry you chose the wrong Matthews." He stands up.

"Josh..." I say.

"I think you should leave." He says. "I need some time to think." He pauses. "And about that note...if anyone is bullying you..."

"We have it under control." I say, gathering up my things. "See you around Josh."

"See you." He says quietly.

I walk outside and turn around one last time but all I see is Josh sadly closing the door shut. I know I did the right thing. I had to tell him, I couldn't keep lying to him. And it didn't even blow up in my face like I thought it would. In a way, it worked out.

I walk away from the house towards the nearest subway station, the same question zipping through my head over and over again. Then why does it feel so wrong?