Guns For Hands

Team No Sleep

4:30 a.m.

"Figures" I sigh. "Why can't I just sleep like a normal person?" I roll out of bed since I have to be up in an hour anyway. I turn on my light and go over to my dresser. I grab clean clothes which consist of my black skinny jeans, and my black My Chemical Romance hoodie. I slowly creep into my bathroom and shut the door behind me. I start the shower and look into the mirror. I look disgusting, my face is as pale as ever and the bags under my eyes seem to get darker every day. I strip down and step into the shower.

After about fifteen minutes of thinking and showering, I turn off the water and wrap the towel carefully around my hips, making sure not to irritate the healing cuts on them. I brush my teeth and style my hair in its usual fluffy up right position. I throw on my clothes and walk out of the bathroom.

"Tyler?" I hear my sister, Maddie, whisper as I walk past her room.

"Yeah?" I look in her room to see her sitting up rubbing her eyes.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine, I just woke up earlier than usual to get to school early. Did I wake you?"

"No, I was going to get up earlier anyway, I have to pick up Jenna on my way to school. I really think you should meet her, I'm sure that you guys would really hit it off." She winks.

"Maybe one day." I chuckle, I love my sister, she always wants the best for me but I know that no one could ever love a mess up like me, especially this Jenna girl even though she sounds amazing.

I continue to walk to my room. Once I'm in there, I grab some socks and my black Converse and slip them on. I walk over to my nightstand and grab my headphones and phone then put them in my hoodie pocket. I grab my backpack, making sure that everything that I need is in there. I grab my journal then head downstairs.

By now it's five thirty so everyone is up. I sit on the couch waiting for everyone to get ready. Then I remember something, I jog back upstairs and open the drawer on my nightstand. I shudder as I see the metal laying in there. I quickly avert my eyes to the rubber band and pick it up and slide it on my wrist. I close the drawer a little too quick when I hear my mom say my name from my door frame.

"Ow." I inhale sharply and clutch my finger in pain. My mom rushes over, her mom instincts kick and she grabs my hand.

"Tyler I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to startle you!" She looks down at my now, burning red finger.

"It's fine, mom, I'll be fine," I state still in pain. I don't really mind the pain, it kinda feels good anyway, I know only a sick, mentally twisted person like me would think that. "Anyway, what were you saying?"

"Oh, right, I can't give you a ride to or from school today, neither can your father. You will have to drive yourself or ask Maddie."

"Who is Jay riding with?"

"He is driving himself."

"Then I'll ride with Maddie."

"Okay, I"ll let her know. Are you sure that your finger is okay?" Mom asks me glancing down at the red throbbing thing.

"Yeah, I'm sure."

"Okay, I'll see you later Ty, I love you."

"I love you too, mom." she kisses my head then heads out of my room. I hear her and my dad telling everyone else bye. I walk back downstairs and see Maddie in the kitchen.

"Hey Ty, did you eat?"

"No, I'm not hungry." Of course, the conversation that I dread starts.

"I know that you're hungry Ty. You barely ate anything yesterday. Please eat something. Anything." She looks at me pleadingly.

"Fine," I already learned not to argue with her, she will always win. I pick up a banana, peel it, then take a bite out of it, "Happy?"

"Very." She sends me a small smile.

"You ready to go? We have to get Jenna"

"Yep." Dang it, I forgot about Jenna. My hands start to shake at thought of meeting a new person. As we walk out the door Maddie yells something about leaving to Zack and Jay. I couldn't focus on anything, my mind was going a mile a minute. Gosh, I hated my anxiety.

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Hey guys! This is my first story so please don't be mad if it sucks :)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! I'll try to update once a week.

I love you all, stay safe, stay street, and stay alive, |-/