Guns For Hands

Dad?

After Maddie got home we all sat in the living room, we talked a little, but also sat in silence. Around 11:00 we all went to bed, I didn't sleep much, not just because I was on the couch either, I was thinking, what if dad never came back? What would happen to us? Zack would be fine... but the rest of us aren't eighteen yet. Would we be separated? These thoughts continued for most of the night. Around 3:00 I got up, I won't be sleeping anytime soon anyway.

I found myself wondering down the hall, dragging my fingers along the wall as I walked. I grabbed the handle to mom and dads room. Before I knew it I was looking around the large room, the walls were olive green... mom's favorite color. She had made the bed with her red bedding, leaving their pillows out from under the sheet, just how dad likes it. She did everything for him, whatever he wanted, however he wanted, but he can't do this one thing for her, finish raising the kids. I ran my hands over moms side of the bed, I laid down where she use to lay, "Why can't you be here?" I started to tear up. "Why'd you have to take her, God? Why? She was such a good person. She doesn't deserve this." I continued asking these questions for a awhile until I finally felt my eyelids start to feel heavy, I slowly let them close as I let my brain finally calm down.

I rolled over on the squishy mattress and peeled my eyes open. "9:00" I sighed, sitting up out of the bed and wondering into the kitchen, then into the living room. "Where is everyone?" I thought to myself. I walked upstairs and into Maddie's room, she was laying down, still asleep. I checked Zack's room, he was doing the same. I finally got to my room and saw Jenna and Josh both awake.

"Hey." Jenna patted a spot on my bed for me to sit on. I slightly waved my arm in response. "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine." I sighed. "What about you guys?"

"Same." Josh said, Jenna nodded in agreement.

"I guess I should try calling dad." Jenna nodded at me as I left the room to get my phone. I dialed his number, not to my surprise, it went to voice mail.

"Hey this is Chris, leave a message after the beep."

"Hey dad. It's me, Tyler. When are you coming home? We have things we need to get done. We need to get through this together, you can't just abandon us. We are all struggling and the last thing that I- we need is for you to be gone too. Call me. I love you. Bye." I hung up the phone and threw myself onto the couch.

I heard footsteps coming from upstairs but I refused to look in the direction of them. "Hey." Zack nodded at me. I waved in response.

"How are you?" He sat beside me.

"Eh."

"Same. Have you heard from dad?"

"No. I just left him a voicemail though." I continued to stare blankly at the wall.

"Okay." Zack patted my leg. "I think Tatum is coming over today. She is apparently going to make some food and bring it over. She might stay a few days too, so if Josh and Jenna need to go they can know that she we will be here and we won't be alone."

"Okay." Soon someone broke me from my trance.

"Tyler?" Jenna leaned over and kissed my cheek. I immediately snapped in Jenna's direction.

"Yeah?"

"Do you want something to eat? Zack is making breakfast."