Guns For Hands

Talking

We got to Josh's house finally, it felt like forever. The car ride was silent. No one said a word, no one knew what to say. Everyone loved my mom. She was special, kind, loving, accepted everyone. Josh and Jenna loved her too, and she loved them. You never appreciate anything or anyone enough until they are gone.

"Tyler?" I looked up at Josh as he walked into the living room. "Do you need anything? A drink? Some different clothes?"

"A shot of tequila would be nice." I jokingly mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I can't serve you that." He chuckled a little.

"Then no, I'm fine for now." My smile died down a little

"Okay." He came and sat by me and Jenna. Somehow I feel like Jenna was taking this just as hard as I was, we had only been dating for a month or so, but she was always around, when she wasn't with me, she was with Maddie. I looked down at the sleeping girl laying next to me, around her eyes where red and puffy, she looked pale, broken, like something had been ripped away from her. Just like me. I hated seeing her like this, I knew she felt the same for me, no one likes watching their loved ones be hurt, mentally or physically. I snuggled up closer to her, slowly letting my eyes close.

I woke up to Jenna hugging me, she knew I was asleep, but she still knew that it's what I needed. I hugged her tight. "You're awake." She laid her head on my chest.

"Yeah." I sighed.

"Josh isn't." She motioned towards the sleeping boy in the couch. "I was talking to him earlier, while you were asleep."

"What about?"

"You remember that schedule we made last week for you?" I nodded my head, remembering what days I had to eat and when. "Well, screw that. I think the three of us are all in the same boat now."

"Oh yeah?" I was saddened by what she said.

"Yeah, I literally just want to cry and sleep. I feel like doing nothing else."

"I understand, but we still need to take care of each other. Stuff like this will happen in our life. We just have to power through it, and promise each other we will keep trying." I kissed the top of her head.

"Yeah." She sighed. "Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"Basketball season is coming up in a few months, are you going to play?"

"Probably not. I played last year, I'm not feeling it this year."

"Okay. Should we get up? We can go to your house if you want." Jenna looked up at me.

"No. Let's just stay here forever." I laid her back down on me.

"Okay, but I don't think we'll be here forever."

"Why not." I frowned at her.

"Because I have to pee." She giggled.

"Well, I guess we can make an acceptation today." I laughed and helped her up. I got up and grabbed my phone from my bag, had a lot of text from Zack and Maddie, most of them asking if I was okay, others asking if I had heard from dad. I opened the messages from Zack and responded, "Hey, I'm as okay as I can be for now. How's everyone else? And how are you? I'm at Josh's now, I didn't want to go home yet, I didn't feel like breaking down again. I haven't heard from dad at all." I pressed send and sat back down where I had previously been snuggled up with my girlfriend.

"Okay, I'm back." Jenna smiled as she walked in the room.

"Good." I smiled softly. She found her seat beside me again. My phone dinged, "Is it your family?" She looked up at me.

"Yeah, Zack." I answered as I looked at the text.

"What'd he say?"

"That he's not okay. Maddie is out looking for dad. Jay is at our grandparents house so that everyone an have some space to process everything." She nodded as I listed everything, "I should probably go home soon. Would you maybe stay with me tonight, I think Josh is?"

"Yeah, absolutely." She patted my leg then stood up. "I think Maddie could use some company too." She walked over to Josh, "Josh?" She gently tapped his shoulder.

"Yeah?" He mouthed.

"I think we are going to go on to Ty's."

"Okay." He slowly sat up and went back to his room. Just a few moments later he came back with a duffle bag full of stuff.

"What's that for?" I asked curiously.

"I'm going to stay with you, Ty. I talked to Jenna and Zack about it earlier. I need to be here for you and your family. What if something happens like last night and you don't call me? I can't have that happen again." He grabbed his keys.

"Thank you." I showed a small smile. I appreciated his offer, I just hate for him to waste his time on me.

"Lets go." Jenna grabbed my arm and guided me out the door.

The car ride had a little more noise this time, we sang and hummed along to the radio. Every once in awhile someone would speak up and start a conversation. We all just tried to be as normal as possible.

"Are you ready?" Jenna grabbed my arm as we stood in front of my door. I nodded my head in response. "Okay." She sighed and grabbed the door knob. We stepped in the house, it felt emptier then last time I was in here. All the happiness had drained out. I slowly stepped into the house, why was this so hard for me? It's only a building, it's not her. Why is this the hardest thing I've ever done. I walked into the living room over to all the pictures we had up on the wall. We were smiling, happy, together... we will never be like that again.

Suddenly I felt someone run up behind me and wrap me up in a hug, it was Zack. I turned into his arms as we hugged, he started crying and I was barley choking back tears. Eventually I gave in and let the water fall down my cheeks. After what felt like hours, we let go. He had straightened himself up a bit and looked me in the eyes, "We will be okay." He assured me.

I nodded in agreement, "Yeah, we will." I cleared my throat. "Have you heard from anyone yet? Maddie? Dad?"

"Not yet." He sighed and rubbed his red eyes.

"Hey, why don't you go rest? Josh and Jenna are here to help with everything and you looked really, really bad."

"Gee, thanks." He chuckled.

"You're welcome." I smiled a bit, "But really, go sleep, we'll be fine."

"Okay. If you hear from anyone, wake me up." He demanded.

"Okay." I watched him walk slowly up the stairs.

The next few days are going to be hard.

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