Guns For Hands

Push Me Away

***last trigger warning continued***

"Huu" I sat up gasping for air. How long was I out? I quickly looked for my phone, I grabbed the device from the floor beside me. Why was Josh on the phone? "H-hello?" I questioned.

"Tyler? Thank God you're okay. What the heck just happened?"

"Long story," I sighed, "hey can you-" I started to asked if he would come over for a bit.

"I'm already on my way. In fact I just turned onto your road." He interrupted.

"Okay." I mumbled into the phone.

"I'll see you in a little bit. Okay?"

"Okay." I stood up and hung up the phone. I unlocked the door and waited for Josh. I hated doing this to him, but I'm glad he's coming. I know he'll want to know what happened so I tried to think of a way to make it not sound so insane. I heard a knock on the door, "It's open."

Josh opened and closed the door behind him, "What's going on, Tyler?"

"I-I don't want to talk about it." I stuttered, I don't even know how I called him.

"Why not?" We sat down on the couch.

"Because you'll think I'm crazy."

"I doubt that, but if you don't want to talk, I understand." He laid back in his seat.

"How did you know I needed you?"

"Well you called me, and you kept screaming for someone to stop, to leave you alone, I figured that you where having a panic attack of some sort so I stayed on the line, grabbed my keys, and drove here."

"Thanks." I sat back into the couch.

"No problem, I wasn't doing anything anyway. I have everything ready for school... except my brain." Josh chuckled, changing the subject.

"Same here." I laughed.  I panicked for a second, "Wait. Don't talk. Where is my journal?" I looked around until I spotted it on the coffee table, where I had left it. I picked it up and flipped to an empty page. I tried to think back on what had just happened, Josh looked thoroughly confused. I closed my eyes and thought of everything I said, everything Blurry said. I jotted what I could remember down. When I appeared to be done, Josh spoke up,

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. A-a new song really." I skimmed over what I had written, flipping back a few pages to reference those lyrics. "I'm my own shrink." I whispered under my breath.

"Can I see?"

"M-maybe when it's done." I started to hear something...whispers? "Tell him to leave, he doesn't really care."

"You can g-go n-now." I started shaking slightly.

"Why? What's wrong, talk to me, Ty." Josh sat himself up a bit and looked at me.

"N-nothing. You sh-should go home. Get some rest." I stood up and walked to the door. "Good job, don't let him help you." Blurry continued.

"I'm not leaving until I know you're okay." He followed me.

"Please, Josh." I mumbled. He looked disappointed.

"Don't push me away."

"I'm sorry." I opened the door for him.

"Call me when you're ready to talk, okay? Be careful, stay street, stay alive." He looked at me with complete seriousness. I remembered the story about his brother that he told me. I frowned and waved at him as he left.

"Good, now lets get back to business." I could feel Blurry smirking.

"What do you want?" I was annoyed with the evil in my head.

"You know what I want. You know the routine."

"I-I can't do that."

"Sure you can, just go upstairs go to your room, open the nightstand drawer-"

"Stop." I commanded him.

"Then do it." I knew that I wouldn't win this battle, I stood up, walked up the steps to my room, opened the nightstand, and admired the shining metal in the drawer. "Good boy." Blurry mocked as I picked up one of the blades. I rolled up my sleeves and placed the blade on my wrist. I slowly pushed it down and drug it across my skin. I did this a three more times, three turned to five, five turned to nine, and nine turned to twelve. I watched as the blood trickled down my arm. Once it got to my fingertips I realized what had happened, I quickly snapped out of my trance and walked to the bathroom, careful not to let any blood get on the floor. I cleaned the blood off my hand and rinsed out the cuts, I winced when the water ran over my wrist. I found some bandaging tape and wrapped up my arm, making sure to apply enough pressure to stop the bleeding. "So pathetic." Blurry chuckled, "Until next time, Tyler." And just like that, he was gone. I was left with the old small whispers in my head, and the new stinging wounds on my wrist.
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Sorry this chapter is short, I hope you like it though! I should be writing/updating more soon. Sorry this took so long, until next time,
   - PeteyWentzy